we went to the shop to get it resized. the woman who helped him choose the ring was there. she complimented me, said i looked really nice and i accepted the compliment but my vision started to blur again. this woman spoke to my partner a mere couple of days ago. they would have discussed me. they would have spoken about my preferences, my personality. i existed somewhere else entirely for a short time without my knowledge. she would have had a picture in her head of what i looked like. did i match up to it? maybe, maybe not. everything became surreal again. i was standing in a jewellery shop as a fiancée, a woman, a woman engaged to be married, and there were prices surrounding me that i had never seen in my everyday bank account before.

i am so incredibly happy, but i also have no idea who i am anymore.

with turning 29 and getting engaged on the same day, suddenly my life feels like it has been splayed all over the floor, like everything has just fallen out of my handbag but i don’t recognise any of my belongings.

there was a me before i was engaged and there will be a me after but i haven’t quite reached her yet. maybe because i’m not wearing the ring. we’re waiting for the correct size to arrive in the post. i’ve already asked him to place it on my finger again, just like he did by the river at dusk, just so i can have that moment, replay it over and over in my head when life feels heavy. remembering him saying “god it’s way too big!” during the proposal is funny, but having him slip the ring on my finger and it fitting perfectly feels important for some reason.

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i’m in a limbo of sorts. i have always felt a little behind in life. a little on the sidelines. my first kiss wasn’t until i was 21, i didn’t have my first “proper” job until i was 25, i feel like i’ve just recently learned how to do small talk and have conversations with strangers without tripping over my words, most of the time. my friends have started saying how we’re getting old more frequently now, how we’re adults now. she’s found a grey hair, that one’s bought a flat, this other one’s got a promotion and now earns £60k. some wind down with a glass of wine in the pub like i used to watch people do on tv after school. one of my old colleagues said his go-to drink was a glass of whisky and we were barely 27 at the time. my friend smokes on her balcony when she’s had a rough day at work. and during all this, i still felt like a child. had a mini crisis about it earlier this month in fact. thought i had to get rid of everything pink and grow up. a minor blip, i still have my pink belongings. but since the weekend, it feels like i’ve been shot out of a cannon and i’ve suddenly caught up with everyone my age, surpassed them a little even. i don’t want to start drinking or smoking, but i do feel another level of responsibility, a new level of consciousness even, of self-awareness. who am i? who do i want to be?

i have a mortgage with my fiancé and i work a job that i don’t completely hate. now i feel like the question who do i really want to be is staring me right in the face. it’s bright and its loud and i don’t have the answer. for once, i have everything i’m supposed to have but i don’t have the answer.

when the ring comes, i feel as though i will stare into it like a crystal ball and hope for answers. hope it will steer me in the right direction, help me manoeuvre this new chapter, shed a new skin and become comfortable with the fact that i am growing once more and that this time my eyes are completely open for it.

thank you for reading <3

i’m still on a high from all of this despite the mixed bag of emotions i talked about here and when the ring finally arrives in the post, you might see a little dot perched on top of the moon when you look out of your window, that will be me. i think all of this is mostly me turning 29, but there is something almost tangible about taking your relationship to the next level like this. i knew it would be different, but not quite like this. either way, i love exploring the self, i love reflecting and observing my emotions. this is such an interesting time in my life!

if you want to hear more about this and other more personal moments in my life, i run a personal blog here, desktop viewing only.

anyway, that’s all from me. i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3

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i missed my train. a part of me thought time would slow down just for me and that this minute, over all the other minutes in the day, would last just a little bit longer, long enough for us to drive home and back, this time with my phone in my bag which had my ticket, and still make it for my train on time. i missed my train by a minute. i told one of the station workers by the barriers. i was wearing a new dress, cherries dotted all over an a-line silhouette, sun hat that affectionately framed my face and laughed as i said i forgot my phone at home! like the silly little goose i am. he gave me a blank stare and told me to buy another ticket for the next train. i blinked. so did he. i went back to the car and bought another ticket for the next train.

an hour later, i was finally able to begin my solo trip to ely. the train ride was peaceful and although i had brought a book to accompany me, i found myself simply staring out of the window for the full fifty minutes. my attention span is fine. the train stopped and i stepped off the train and immediately into a preheated oven preparing for a loaf of banana bread. by the end of my trip, i was sure to be perfectly baked, complete with a slightly browner hue on my arms and legs, very much ready to take out of the oven and into a cooler space (back home in the living room, the coolest room in the house).

because of my missed train, the first thing i did in ely was find some lunch and somewhere to eat it. and because of my poor sense of direction and trust in my intuition, i circled the town centre about three times like a dog settling down for a nap in its bed before reaching a park to eat under a big tree. i took mouthfuls of chicken and pasta with a view of the cathedral peaking out from other big, bushy trees in the distance against a smooth blue sky that looked like someone had just dropped a tin of paint all over it. not a cloud or speckle in sight.

eventually, i made it to the place that inspired this entire journey. about three years ago, C (my partner) and i went to bath where i discovered my new favourite bookshop, topping and co. i remember skipping back to our airbnb like a child with a bag of sweets, except it was new additions to my bookshelf in this crisp paper bag that crinkled with every bounce. the now wrinkled bag said they also had branches in ely, edinburgh, st andrews and york and as a devout southerner, i hoped i would somehow make it to ely one day. who knew years later i would have bought a house in norfolk and ely would be just under an hour away.

my expectations were a little too high but i did feel the glint of excitement when i saw those ladders leaning up against the bookshelves once again. my eyes ran over practically every shelf, my tbr expanded a little and i felt a little more like myself. not much can go wrong in a room full of books.

it wasn’t long before i was waiting for my train home by a river, finally reading the book i had brought with me. the weather was perfect, sunny with a soft breeze. another tree gave me the gift of shade. i stopped reading and slowly made my way back to the train station, where a ladybird had perched on my shopping back, eager to take a trip with me back to norfolk. i took it on my finger, placed him on the ground and said goodbye to it and ely.

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tuesday/wednesday/thursday - long shifts and house guests

i used to work 40 hours a week and it didn’t feel like much. sitting at home, wiggling my mouse every so often and pretending to look busy was easy. i knew it was easy. but now, looking at one seven hour shift at my retail job feels like being handed a sword to chop my own head off. (sorry for the blunt metaphor, C and i started watching game of thrones and i’ve seen a lot of heads being chopped off.) there is nothing longer than a seven hour shift, especially when you’re stuck doing the same thing the entire time. by the end, if you told me that i had in fact been in this store for three days straight, i might have believed you.

on tuesday, i came home from one of these impromptu seven hour shifts to C’s mother sitting in our garden. i knew she was coming to stay, but it still felt surreal at the time, walking into my own house and being greeted by someone else. i realised then that i couldn’t quite switch off, that i was about to spend almost twelve hours on. i pictured my nervous system like a string about to snap.

she was lovely as always. told me to head upstairs, that i must be exhausted from talking to people all day, take a moment before coming back down to chat and socialise. so i did. i washed my face, did my skincare, and a stretching session would have sounded nice too but i didn’t have it in me. also, i’ll never be able to fully relax with a third person in the house, no matter who it was.

she stayed for a couple of days, i went to work and we all came back to the house to eat dinners made by C at the dining table that we definitely eat at every day and not on our laps watching whatever tv series we both enjoy.

we picked up a new bike for C on the thursday, gave it a test drive around a lake. the sun was no stranger that day, prompting a stop off at a cafe for drinks coated in condensation, giving our fingertips tiny cooling baths. we squinted our eyes as we looked over the seemingly never ending expanse of green and the soft ripples in the river that made it seem like time has slowed down from our picnic bench. i quietly wondered how i had lived in london for so long without seeing views like this on a regular basis. i tried to play it cool as a wasp insisted on joining us at our table, eager to take sips of our bubbling, sugary drinks.

later, we packed her things into her car and told her we’d see her again on sunday to visit the campsite she was staying at.

hello quiet readers, i hope you’re enjoying this post so far. sorry i’ve been a bit inconsistent writing to you lately. i’m not too sure what i’ve been feeling this summer, a bit unmotivated, a bit lazy, but i’m hoping these types of posts can help me get back to writing regularly to you again and make me feel a little bit more like myself again. there is a part of me that is waiting for autumn to fix me, like there is some other version of me that i can’t quite reach while the sun is out for some reason. i’ll go into more detail either here or on my blog perhaps.

the rest of this post is for paid subscribers only, just so it feels a little safer to go a little deeper into my feelings. consider upgrading your subscription to read more on this unexpected busy week in my life! includes holding crabs, walking in the sea and questioning my introvertedness.

thank you for reading, thank you for being here <3

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it’s been a quiet month for me with most social events squeezed into just one week, but work has been keeping me busy, posting out a zine here and there, updating my blog, having more fun being online again, it’s felt full regardless.

how has june treated you? if you’re in the uk, you might be mostly made up of sweat due to this crazy heatwave we’re having. even i, someone who adores the sun and doesn’t mind feeling a little like a fried egg cooking under the sun, is finding this rather a lot. but i just keep reminding myself of how much i Hate the cold and darkness of winter. i don’t know how i would cope with a life without summers.

okay, let’s get into the lists.

thank you for reading with me in the sun room. subscribe for weekly posts on living a quiet life that centres joy, hobbies and self reflection. you can also find me hanging about online here <3

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little joys

• went to my first rave and didn’t hate it! i know me and rave in the same sentence is alarming but it was a “day rave” that finished at 11pm which sounds like my kinda place. i’m not running to my next one however

• the sun!!! so much sun. i remember yearning for it back in january and february and i’m so happy it’s summer again

• i think i say this every month i’m sorry but i love being in our garden. i love having a garden. i love summertime in our garden.

• adding those bright blue damselflies to my extremely short list of favourite bugs. also listed are ladybirds, butterflies. that is all.

• going to my bestie’s birthday picnic despite not knowing anyone else there, ignoring my anxiety and having a better time than i thought (you always have a better time than you think)

• trying out my new wax seal on the latest zine i posted out. i love it. i’m obsessed.

• it’s been a couple of months and i still don’t hate my retail job!

• my bestie is coming to visit me today! i’m so excited to show another friend around norfolk (and hopefully reverse the brainwashing that is living in london)

• baking for other people. i’m making said friend some banana bread for her visit and i’m also thinking about baking something for the lovely old lady who lives next door who lets us borrow her lawn mower :’)

• finally finding something cold i can actually eat without any reactions!! rowntree mango ice lollies, thank you. i am desperately craving ice cream in this heat so i’m looking to try and make ice cream with oat milk but for now, this will suffice

• finally being brave enough to add a notion template to my etsy shop. i love making notion dashboards for myself and it was so sweet when my friend said how much she loved it and that i should share them with others, so i did :’)

• it’s my birthday next month! and i want to buy myself something to make me just as happy as when i saved up and bought my switch. definitely eyeing up one of those mini instant printers for journaling purposes… (edit: the photo paper is so expensive!! i’m now looking at second hand steam decks hehe)

little sorrows

• it’s my birthday next month. and the howls of 30 are almost deafening

• i haven’t held a ladybird in a while

• i haven’t been having a good reading year at all. not only am i not reading that much but nothing has captured me. my fable is rather empty.

• writing a lot but none of it fiction

• working retail with no a/c in the middle of a heatwave. need i say more.

hello quiet readers, thank you for reading this month’s little joys and little sorrows. as always, please feel free to add your own little joys and sorrows in the comments as your form of reflection this month, i always love to read them :’)

i hope you all have a wonderful, nourishing sunday. i’ll see you next week in the sun room <3

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the 12 week year is a time management system. it’s a bit productivity bro but you can apply it to anything you like. for me, i wanted to solidify myself as a writer by building a real, engaged social media following (gag), lose a couple pounds to reach the goal weight i set about three years ago and write another 10,000 word short story.

the system makes you set two or three goals and then split those goals into actionable tasks you complete each week. every month becomes a quarter and every week becomes a month. you also have things like lead and lag indicators that help you pin point exactly which actions will yield the specific outcomes you want. for example, lead: meditating every day, lag: calmer nervous system. it’s surprising how much you can actually get done in a week when you really map it out like this. but of course, some of us can get a little excited and take things slightly too far.

some weeks my calendar looked like someone had given my crayola supertips to a four year old and told them to go wild. for someone who gets winded by a singular phone call, i’m not quite sure who i thought i was. i had content creation days, afternoons scheduled just for editing, pages and pages of haphazard caption ideas, specific times of day to post on this site and that, videos, pictures, the lot. and this is someone who loathes social media marketing by the way. on top of that, i wanted to workout four times a week and commit to writing 1,000 words a week. and post on substack weekly. as you can imagine, i lasted about 10 minutes before i was on the brink of collapse.

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everyday things overwhelm me. conversations with anyone that isn’t my partner, friends or immediate family come with running commentary, why did you say that, what do people usually say here, you’re giving them too much eye contact look away okay now look back, every twinge in my stomach is something to analyse, (as kids, tv ads in the uk taught us to stop, look and listen before crossing the road and i appear to have taken this aphorism into all areas of my life) and my body drops a new intolerance more frequently than lorde releases albums which makes eating fun too. eventually, my calendar returned to its natural semi-blank state soon after i realised that i have enough to worry about in my life.

but instead of giving up altogether, at around week 6, i simply changed my mind. my friend was well on her way to achieving her goals, her digital products were taking shape and she was finding that she was already gaining some flexibility in her legs from her daily stretches. but i was at day 1 again. day 1 of calming the heck down.

i had approached the 12 week year completely wrong. even though most people use it to finally get all the stuff they’ve wanted to do for the past several years done quickly and efficiently, i took it as an opportunity to finally confront the pressure i kept putting on myself and pay some actual attention to my physical health. instead of posting online four times a week, i practised yoga four times a week. i checked off a box every time i read another chapter of the roots of yoga by nikita desai. i meditated for 50 days straight and really started to see a difference in my life. the 12 week year helped me to realise that there is nothing more pressing that i have to get done right now other than making sure i was actually putting my health first instead of just thinking i was.

it’s been a couple of weeks since we finished up. naturally, i haven’t been as strict with myself when it comes to the things i used to check off my list daily but i feel like my life has truly changed. i haven’t done any of the rigorous workouts i used to do in well over a month and i have surpassed my goal weight. i still trip up on my words when the script isn’t crystal clear in my head when speaking to customers sometimes, but i don’t ruminate about it so much anymore. i’m sleeping through the night again (90% of the time). and most importantly, i don’t constantly feel overwhelmed anymore.

would i recommend the 12 week year to someone? absolutely. but i’d remind them that it doesn’t require you to set goals about being a business owner or doing something that seems “productive”. anything is productive if it makes your life better. also, i was able to get a little creative and make us an extremely cute notion template to work from. who needs another boring beige thing in their life. not me that’s for sure.

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hello quiet readers, thank you for reading this week’s post! okay, tell me, have any of you tried the 12 week year? or maybe you’ve tried the artist’s way, i imagine that has a similar premise. maybe i’ll give that one a go in the autumn. i found that i struggled a little towards the end of my 12 week year and i think that’s because i’m more motivated for this sort of thing in the autumn and winter. right now i just want to be outside, sit in my garden and read all day and soak up all the sun i can. autumn and winter feel more like head down and get projects done sort of seasons. just me?

also if you were curious about starting your own 12 week year, you can download the template i made for me and my bestie here! it’s specifically made for two people, so if you have someone in mind you wanted to do it with, this is perfect!

okay, have a lovely sunday. i’ll see you again next week in the sun room <3

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i’m learning the difference between physical tiredness and mental tiredness, and i think i’d prefer it if my body was a little worn out by the end of the day rather than feeling like someone wringed out my brain like a wet flannel. reading a book at the end of the day or playing a cosy game on my switch doesn’t sound too out of reach. i can throw myself onto the sofa giving my legs and feet a rest while running around in a cute town helping villagers return their library books in my pastel caravan (if you haven’t played cozy caravan yet, you’re missing out).

i’m not doing anything too strenuous. sometimes i may overdo it when i emerge from the stock room with all 15 packages from the 8+ people crowding around the collection point because i refuse to do this in anything more than one trip. i secretly like the stares and mild impressed facial expressions when i do so. wow, she can carry all that? and finding the energy to address the crowd, calling out surnames like i am a teacher doing the register in class, a mild form of public speaking or, to make it easier on my introverted soul, a theatre performance. smith? yes that’s for you. christmas? ooh that’s a fun one, yes that one’s for you. is that your driver’s license? oh you don’t need all that don’t worry here you go. that’s definitely yours isn’t it, go on off you go. all with a smile of course.

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i may stumble straight onto the sofa the minute my shoes are off when i get home, but somewhere within me feels full, not empty like returning home from the office. my feet hurt like hell but i had genuine conversations with strangers and put smiles on their faces. yesterday, i helped a woman find a dress for her upcoming baptism. it’s a full immersion one so we laughed about definitely needing something long that hangs from the shoulders to avoid any garments floating beside her in the pool instead of firmly on her body. the excitement that radiated from her when i showed her a dress she picked up does in fact come in her favourite colour was delightful. childlike. heartwarming. yes my back hurts a little but i actually helped someone today. and i’m not a christian but i’m wishing her all the best in this new phase of her life.

coming home from the office felt exhausting for all the wrong reasons. all i did was sit in a chair and stare at a screen and for the most part, pretend to work. i begrudgingly entered prompts into chatgpt to write blog posts i couldn’t give two hoots about, knowing no one else would either, not even my own manager, and had three or four conversations a day with my colleagues that didn’t go much further than the work itself. it was only on my last day of work that i learned how much i had in common with one of them. we probably could have been good friends this whole time. whereas here, i’ve already exchanged numbers with someone. i’ve been here about the equivalent of a month, if that.

my office job wasn’t a real job, and as you can imagine, it only got worse once ai was introduced. what’s sad is that i’ve only recently realised that my job was replaced by ai long before i took the courage to hand in my notice. i was no longer someone who deserved to be there because of my degrees and experience, the best person for the job, the one who jumped seamlessly through all three stages of the interview process and got the job. you could quite literally get anyone off the street to do the job i was doing towards the end of my time there. anyone can ask chatgpt to write a piece of copy that mentions xyz and paste it into a google doc.

despite my paycheck being significantly lower, i don’t miss my office job in the slightest. i feel like i am doing something more useful by asking people if they need a bag today. it’s cute when people tell me the reason why as well. no that’s okay we’ll just put it straight in the car. yes please, oh no! i have a bag! i always forget i have a bag! it’s amazing the types of conversations you can have with people after such mundane questions over the simplicity of a transaction.

i don’t have too many friends here yet but for now, chatting with strangers while i find the right shirt for their very muscly boyfriends (she showed me a picture, she told no lies) or subtle ways to cover up insecurities for a day at the beach or cooing over how tiny these baby socks are is a great temporary way to get my social fix. and all that time on my feet has made me finally fit comfortably into a pair of jeans that used to be a little too snug. right now, i’m having a good time.

helloo, thank you for reading this week’s post!

honestly, i’m not sure how long this feeling will last. i’ve had a couple of retail jobs in my time and never lasted too long at any of them, my contract ended just at the point where i was starting to become sick of it or i had to leave of my own accord. but this one does feel different and i hope things don’t take a drastic 180 like my previous job. i’m doing my little shifts at work and writing on my days off and that’s pretty much all i’ve ever wanted. even though my office job was 90% remote, somehow it still drained me and i wasn’t writing at all. but clocking in 10k+ steps at work for a single shift and completing short stories on the side? i’ve simply made it.

i don’t think i’m the only one experiencing this preference for customer-facing jobs over salaried office positions either. i came across this video on youtube last night and my friend has told me she’s seen a shift in people leaving office jobs for jobs in cafes and retail. something is changing, and i’m glad more people are willing to take the leap to do jobs that society deems less than in order to put their well-being and passions first. what do you think of all this?

if you want to hear more about my life as a retail girlie slash aspiring author, you can read my blog here (desktop view only), and here is my last post reflecting on the little joys and little sorrow of may.

i hope you’re having a lovely, restful sunday. i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3

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i feel like we’ve had one of the most beautiful springs here in england, or perhaps it’s because it’s my first time spending a spring away from a big city. i think having a garden for the first time has made it easier for me to notice the change in the air, which is why i will be forever grateful for the blessing of having a garden. how sacred! your own little patch of soil that you can call yours and plant whichever flowers give you the most joy. still not a fan of all the outdoor spiders i’ve seen though. i leave most of the gardening to my partner, i’m just here to admire and write about it.

can you believe it’s june already? somewhere within me still feels like it should be april or maybe i just want spring to last forever. either way, i’ve loved watching spring unfold this year, and i can’t wait to see what summer in norfolk is like. i’m thinking lots of beach visits and maybe a bit of kayaking?

okay, let’s get into the lists~

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little joys

• my partner is doing such a good job with our garden and seeing how much he enjoys buying new flowers to plant makes something melt within me. i cannot tell you enough just how much i love sitting in our garden and staring at all the plants, the blossoming flowers, taking mental pictures of the acer tree in the corner and imagining how big it’s going to get, all the bees (that i’m becoming less afraid of) hurry about and quietly drink nectar and collect pollen, the bright blue damselflies! the occasional dragonfly! birds! i’m getting carried away.

• i feel like i have another short story brewing somewhere inside me. i’m excited to bulk up my collection this year.

• had a surprisingly good time at the arsenal parade in london on sunday! i know next to nothing about football but my family and my partner support them so i support by proxy. do love saka though. and rice. and who can complain about seeing mikel arteta on the screen every so often. okay maybe i’m interested.

• my bestie and i finished our 12 week year! she did way better than i did and i’m so proud of her progress. i made a lot of intangible progress mainly.

• my other bestie came to visit me in norfolk!! we had the best time and bought each other early birthday presents for each other as we’re both summer babies :’)

• loving how my retail job keeps my body moving. i haven’t done a proper “workout” in months but i feel more active than i did squeezing in intense cardio workouts during lunch when i worked in an office.

• also not missing my office job at all. my eyes sure don’t miss it either.

• inspiring people to make their own personal websites! the comments under this note brought me so much joy.

• the many, many trips to various garden centres with my partner.

• finally getting a parasol and being able to sit outside in the warmth for hours without retreating from the beating sun every 20 minutes.

• i bought my first sun hat and i love it very much.

• all! the! sunshine!

• the little community bookshop i went to in wymondham and spending about 20 minutes in one corner because the selection of books were right up my street and buying a fun contemporary novel (annie knows everything by rachel wood) with the cutest edge design! already looking forward to my next visit.

• found a new game to be completely obsessed with: cozy caravan! you play as a little animal of your choosing and help out the community with tasks like retrieving library books and delivering sample packages across different little towns and also cook meals to sell at the market every weekend. it’s absolutely adorable and the perfect way to wind down after a busy day, that is, if you’re not like me and want to make everyone happy all at once and end up getting stressed out :)

little sorrows

• as with all retail jobs, i had one or two too many shifts last week on top of going to the arsenal parade in london and i am very much still recovering even though i have to work today.

• i’m going to need all shops that have a 14-day return policy instead of a standard 30-day one to shut down because now i have to stare at a lampshade i don’t want every time i sit in my living room.

• annie knows everything was good but not great. i really love romance, yearning in particular, but i really struggle to enjoy any contemporary romance media. i did enjoy bridgerton though, might have to rewatch season 2 to get my yearning fix.

• i might have been a little stressed over the past couple of weeks which induced a mini eczema flare. my face has cleared up thanks to some dermol 500 but my hands still bother me. and this isn’t the time when people look at my hands folding their clothes all day.

• missing the library dearly

lots to be joyful for this month! thank you for reading this week’s post and sorry it’s a little later than usual! i really didn’t want to miss a little joys and sorrows so better late than never. i might print out all these collages i make every month and have something to look back on at the end of the year :’)

anyway, i hope you all had a lovely may. please let me know of your own little joys and sorrows for the month, i always love to read about them.

okay that’s all from me. i might pop in again this sunday for our usual weekly post. i’ll see you then, in the sun room <3

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libraries have always sounded like a sanctuary to me, but i think you have to find the right one. and i think ever since moving away from the city, i finally have.

unfortunately, it’s closed for about three months for refurbishments. but, that meant you could take out as many books as you could and keep them until they reopen! so naturally, i went home with a very full tote bag.

here’s everything i’ve borrowed from the library to keep me company during the spring and summer of 2026.

thank you for being here and supporting me in the sun room <3

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the roots of yoga by nikita desai

i’ve been on a bit of a spiritual journey as of late. after an insanely long hiatus from the dentist’s office and him knowing that i grind my teeth by just looking at the inside of my cheeks, i realised that i had been heavily neglecting my body. i know that i have always struggled with anxiety but it was something that only ever existed in my head. i never really thought about how it could be eating away at me on the inside, literally where my cheeks are concerned.

i’ve always had an affinity for yoga but treated it more as a workout rather than an opportunity for inner growth and something that could aid my mental health as well. i wanted to learn more about it, deepen my practice and ensure it was authentic and respectful, so i’ve started reading the roots of yoga by nikita desai, recommended by a lovely friend of mine hey girl, and i’ve already learned so much. operation calm candice down is going really well. (if you want to read more about how that’s going, you can read my blogs here, desktop viewing only)

meditation for the real world: finding peace in everyday life by ann swanson

along with yoga, i have started a daily meditation practice (as i write this, it has been 50 days straight!) and i’m already starting to see a difference in my thinking patterns. i don’t ruminate so much anymore, it’s easier to let things go, my anxiety has eased significantly, especially at night when it seems to be at its worst. but i didn’t want to go into it blind so i found this book at the library that explains what meditation actually is, the different types and how to incorporate it into your everyday life. again, i’m learning a lot!

the circle by dave eggers

this was the book that accompanied me during that mini heatwave we had in the uk a couple of weeks back. this one is about a young woman landing a coveted position at the world’s most powerful tech and social media company. as she rises the ranks of the company, things get eerie and so incredibly triggering for someone who used to work in corporate and hates how we’ve normalised sharing absolutely everything online nowadays. it was like reading the script of a black mirror episode at times (the hr scene? i nearly threw the book across the room iykyk).

i sat in our garden on our sun lounger and absolutely devoured this ~500 page book in a matter of days under a beating hot sun. i was in heaven. although the writing wasn’t anything to jump about, the story had me so utterly captivated i struggled to put this down. also turns out that i had seen the movie adaptation and had no idea until a friend mentioned it to me when i was yelling at them to read it. definitely going to give it a rewatch.

room by the sea by andre aciman

i’m still getting through this one but honestly it might be a dnf. this book is about a man and a woman who have both been selected for jury duty and to escape the mundanity of it all, pretend they are on holiday in sunny italy grabbing cappuccinos and perfectly baked croissants together. but in reality, they’re both married, to other people.

much like andre’s novel find me, this one isn’t gripping me at all. call me by your name was incredible so i’m disappointed that two of his other novels haven’t had nearly the same effect on me. the font is huge in this one so i feel like i could probably finish it but i’m lacking the drive.

vanishing world by sayaka murata

i haven’t started this one yet but given how much i liked convenience store woman, i’m really looking forward to it. this one is about a world where being conceived through artificial insemination is the norm and our protagonist was conceived through the taboo act of procreation and struggles with fitting in because of this. sounds weird and exactly what i’d expect from sayaka. i have high hopes.

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homebodies by tembe denton hurst

this, unfortunately, was a dnf for me. mickey is let go from a job as a writer for a glitzy magazine and suspects it’s something to do with her race. she posts a strongly worded notes app screenshot rant about it and the issues with the publishing industry as a whole on twitter and then you never hear about it again. or maybe you do, but i couldn’t bring myself to care about the character enough to read what it seems like is the very end of the book to find out. it was one of those this character keeps making bad decisions and complains all the time but doesn’t do anything about it stories and i had to put my sanity first and close this book without a bookmark inside.

the theory and practice of taiji qigong by chris jarmey

this one was more of a flip through and skim around sort of read. on the rare occasion i open tiktok other than to watch the memes my friends send me, my feed contains lots of yoga, wellness tips and now the odd working in retail meme which is fun and intrusive. so after coming across qigong, i wanted to learn more of the theory and history behind it and was so happy to see a book on it in the library!

i did get a bit freaked out when i read that there are certain types of qigong that are life threatening if done incorrectly, but i think me waving my arms about and twisting my spine a bit in the morning is safe enough. i’ve renamed my morning practice as free movement instead, just in case :)

fascial fitness through yoga

another flip through book for me. naturally i came across a lot of fascia content on my feed as well which piqued my interest and also made me happy to find in the library. it’s interesting to read this book alongside the roots of yoga and see where things overlap and where things contradict. i am a little cautious of trying any intense fascia releases with foam rollers and tennis balls because unearthing any unknown traumas and trying to keep it at bay behind a till point doesn’t sound like a good idea right now. i am also sceptical regardless of the whole “trauma is stored in the body” discourse anyway. when the library opens back up, that’s something i’d like to explore further too.

yoga life: habits, poses, and breathwork to channel joy amidst the chaos by brett larkin

and finally, another book about yoga. i was going a little wild in this section of the library. this book ended up in my tote bag because i just so happened to flick to a random page and see a mirror before me. the author spoke about how once she changed her approach to yoga, she had a huge realisation about herself. she heard her inner voice and how harsh it was, and i had just had the exact same experience.

i always approached yoga with an intention to be the best, twist myself into the most perfect form of a pose even if it didn’t feel comfortable, which completely defeats the point of the practice. i heard my inner voice say go on, stretch further, do the more challenging stretch, when i have no business doing that on beginner 2. this book is probably going to teach me a lot about myself and help me on my journey to a more authentic yoga practice and reach my new overall goal this year to calm the heck down.

hello hello thank you for reading this week’s post! i’ve been a little here one minute gone the next but i think i’m ready to come back to substack on a more regular basis. maybe not every week without fail, i’m trying to stay mindful of not posting just for the sake of posting you know. anyway it’s nice to be back.

do you visit your local library often? if not, why not? what library books do you have on loan at the moment? tell me all your library secrets.

thank you for being here, i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3

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it’s been a while, how have you been?

april is quickly becoming my (second) favourite month i think. it’s taken me a while to realise it, but there’s something sweet about the air in april. the magnolia trees, the cherry blossoms petals that line the pavements, the vibrant shade of blue in the sky, leaving the house without a thick coat, reading outside again! there’s so much to be grateful for, so much to look at and appreciate. the world is officially awake once more and i along with it. if march is throwing the duvet cover off and getting out of bed, april is taking your first sip of a hot cup of tea, slowly warming up to the world again, excited to see what the day brings.

it’s been a busy month but also one of the most calming and rejuvenating kinds. let’s get into the lists.

you may have noticed i’ve been gone for a few weeks. thank you for being patient while i took some time to think and make some much needed changes in my life. i really appreciate you being here <3

little joys

• i’ve made some huge changes in my life. after realising that stomach aches every other day, clenching my jaw constantly, not sleeping well and always feeling on edge wasn’t normal, i made a decision to calm down. i’ve started meditating, doing free movement in the mornings (which i thought was qigong but probably isn’t but either way, i like it), stretching my body every day, deepening my yoga practice and making sure i was actually listening to my body, and i’m really happy to say i’ve seen some huge improvements. life feels really good right now.

• i also got a job and as painfully introverted as i am and as much as i hate being new at something, i think it’s helping me too.

• realising that working in retail is a completely different experience when it’s something you choose rather than something you feel like you have to do. i love being able to have full weekdays to do anything i want and not have a job that stresses me out.

• i have officially finished a short story, edited and everything!! 10,000 words! i’m going to print it off so i can look at it, remind myself that i did it, that i can do it again. i haven’t decided if i want people to read it yet or not…

• my library is closed until mid summer (sorrow) but it meant i could take out books and keep them until they reopen! so i currently have 10 books on loan :)

• i’ve been reading so, so much. the roots of yoga by nikita desai is very good and the circle by dave eggers is crazy i can’t put it down. will update you on my other library books in another post, but if you want to see my thoughts now, you can head to my personal website where i blog regularly! (desktop viewing only)

• reframing my perspective of being online as one of my hobbies instead of a potential income stream has lifted so much weight off my shoulders and made being online actually fun again.

• when i look up i see fresh, vibrant green leaves against a backdrop of deep blue cloudle ss skies. it’s always breath taking, every year.

• feeling the sun on my skin again and feeling it reignite my very being

• all the reading i’ve been doing in our garden. the fact that i have a garden. the fact that i can go and sit outside among some flowers and birdsong and big, tall trees and hear them rustle in the distance whenever i want. how much of a gift it is to own a garden.

• i love books!

• reading up on yoga and it’s philosophical roots and changing up my practice so that it’s more authentic and already noticing some small changes (e.g. realising the voice is my head is pretty harsh and doesn’t leave room for gentleness when performance is involved. oof.)

• i’ve always said for years that i’ve wanted to go on a spiritual journey and i’ve tried to force it but the path i am on now sort of appeared without me knowing. i’m liking where i’m headed.

little sorrows

• as i said above, the library is closed for refurbishments. missing her dearly.

• looking back at all the time i spent putting immense pressure on myself to upload every week even though no one asked, to be someone who i wasn’t and all the stress i was putting my body under for no reason.

• there are parts of my job that i am actively avoiding because i’m afraid of getting something wrong and looking stupid.

• finally finished all about love by bell hooks. i’ve been reading it for what feels like years and i didn’t… love it. a couple of chapters were very poignant, but i didn’t feel like i learned as much as i thought i would from it.

• i have a similar sentiment towards the highly sensitive person by elaine aron. it’s not resonating with me as much as i thought it would.

• feeling my motivation dwindle as i approach week 10 of the 12 week year i’m doing with my bestie. we’re so close to the end and i am struggling to find the energy i had at the beginning of our journey.

thank you for reading my little joys and little sorrows. as always, and especially now as it’s been a while since we’ve spoken, please feel free to share your own little joys and sorrows for april. i always love to read through them.

i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3

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spring is officially upon us and with a new season comes a new handmade zine sent straight from my house to yours.

the quiet list spring edition zine is here!

what’s inside

inside you’ll find spring-filled lists to remind you of the beauty of the season, how now is the perfect time to start again, book recommendations perfect for spring, hobby ideas and more. wait for it to arrive in the post, feel the pages turn in your hands, leave it on your desk as a reminder of all the little joys that are to come this season.

if you’d like one, please click here, or if you’re a paid subscriber, your 100% off code is below the paywall.

i hope you love it as much as i enjoyed making it.

if you do enjoy it, a review on my etsy shop would mean the world!

okay that’s all from me this week. i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3

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other than my birthday, today is my favourite day of the year. daylight savings. suddenly the world is right again, the picture on the wall has been tilted back to a straightened position, the perfect amount of milk has been added to my tea, my crops are growing, my skin is thriving.

to celebrate this wonderful time of year, i’m offering 20% off paid subscriptions, just in time for next week’s quiet list zine too. if you fancy something handmade posted through your letterbox every season, as well as more personal subscriber-only posts that i don’t want the whole world to see, now is the perfect time to upgrade.

get 20% off

how has march been for you? it’s been a long month but hasn’t felt like it at all. every morning i have noticed our bedroom covered in slightly more sunlight when i wake up, and it makes me so eager to start my day. i love walking into the sun room and not having to turn on a light, i love going for walks without a scarf, i love breathing in all the magnolia-scented potential in the air.

as always, feel free to leave your own little joys and sorrows in the comments as your form of reflection this month. i always love to hear what has made your month special to you.

okay, let’s get into the lists.

thank you for being here and supporting the sun room. your support means so much <3

little joys

• coming downstairs each morning and practically running to the kitchen windowsill to see how much our seedlings have grown, saying good morning to them, telling them how beautiful they are, wishing them a nice day looking out onto the garden.

• giving my desk a complete refresh and feeling like i’m dusting off the winter just like nature is doing outside my window.

• and how it’s like looking in a mirror now, all my hobbies facing me, radiating joy every time i sit down at my desk (big fan of my new washi tape display).

• finally finding clarity with something i’ve been struggling with for a long time. substack hasn’t felt fun for a while and i think it’s because the numbers got to my head a little. but turning off stats and my sub count has already made such a difference. i’m enjoying getting back to the type of writing i was doing when i first joined the platform.

• and thinking about the shift that’s happened online, we’ve gone from posting pictures of our food and random unfiltered pictures twice a month to becoming mini businesses with content schedules and perfectly curated feeds. i’m trying to get back to a place where being online doesn’t feel like work but just another hobby, including substack. i’m already feeling like a weight has been lifted.

• slowly coming out of my s.a.d and starting my mornings with something physical in my hands instead of a screen: my journal, the velvet moon gazette (a lovely newspaper on girlhood), my cup of oat milk tea of course, lighting candles on cloudy mornings.

• finally getting to use my spring-themed mugs.

• swapping out my autumn/winter decor around the house for spring ones, watching the house come to life a little

• getting ready to do the same to my wardrobe very soon!

• feeling the heat of the sun on my skin again, reminding myself of how much i missed this just a couple of months ago and drinking it all up like sweet lemonade.

• seeing my favourite shade of blue in the skies again.

• seeing baby leaves unfurl on trees, my all-time favourite sight to see.

• watching our garden slowly come to life, thinking about all the future trips to the garden centre, all the flowers i’ll get to watch from my window.

• discovering colouring as a new hobby and wanting to fill every spare moment i have with it (you can colour with me here if you like :’)

• getting a job!! and having a really good first shift!

join me in the sun room

little sorrows

• i am in a major reading slump and it has affected my ability to write short fiction. feeling very uninspired at the moment

• it’s getting brighter which means i have no excuse anymore, i’m going to have to venture out and do the horrendous task of making friends as an adult in a new city

• forever wanting to be someone who goes to the cinema solo and but finds there’s never anything i want to watch that’s playing

• i haven’t played on my switch in a while but i can feel another animal crossing obsession on the (new) horizon(s) (sorry)

• i injured my chest and back the other week from a pilates workout and it was genuinely scary not being able to move for a couple hours because of the pain. haven’t done a floor-based workout since.

wow that was a lot of joys this month! spring really does something to the soul. thank you for reading this week’s post, i hope you enjoyed it. don’t forget to drop your own little joys and little sorrows in the comments if you’d like.

next week’s post will be the release of the quiet list zine spring edition! paid subscribers will get a 100% off code to use in my etsy shop, but if you can’t upgrade just yet, you can still get one for just £3. look forward to that next week :’)

in the meantime, if you missed it, here is my latest post with a long comforting spring-filled list and here is a cosy hobby with me vlog where you can watch me make a start on this season’s zine.

okay that’s all from me this week. i’ll see you next week in the sun room <3

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i hope you’ve rested over the winter. i hope you took things a little slower and waited for the daffodils to poke their tiny heads from the soil before you told yourself you had to be productive. truthfully, you don’t ever have to be productive, simply being alive, breathing, giving your houseplants the carbon dioxide they need to survive is productive. but if you had some goals you wanted to achieve, some rituals you wanted to solidify, now is the time.

like the tiny seedlings in the pots on my kitchen windowsill, we’re going to take it slow. trees and flowers and tall blades of grass don’t appear overnight, they take time, and so should we. the ideas we’ve had over the winter should excite us now, they should begin to take shape and form, begin to poke their own tiny heads above the soil and materialise before us.

and while we warm our palms to pick up our paint brushes, pens, crochet needles, garden tools, wooden spoons, we have an abundance of things to look forward to all around us. there’s so much to do, so much to see! here are some ways we can embrace the nature of spring and enjoy everything it has to offer:

• notice the sunshine filtering through the trees and then filtering through net curtains or through the leaves of your houseplants and making pretty patterns on your carpets or wood floors

• the random patches of your floors at home that have been loved by the sun and stepping on them unknowingly with bare feet, staying there for a while

• deciding now is the perfect time to start experimenting with baking, starting small with some cinnamon rolls, an apple and blackberry crumble, cookies and gaining the confidence slowly to branch out to something more decadent

• coming home from work guided by the sun instead of the moon trapped behind clouds

• sunsets you can watch from your sofa instead of the obstructed view from your office window because you’ll be at home when the sun ends her longer shifts

• finding the perfect sun drenched spot on the sofa to read books on

• vibrant green leaves poking their heads out of bare tree branches, how excited they must feel, how fresh and new it all is for them

• welcoming new hobbies, like for me, colouring has really taken off in this household, my partner even gave it a try. he loves it.

• there’s currently a spring sale on steam at the moment, grab a cosy game or two to settle into the season with

• and sinking into the 3.0 animal crossing update and designing the island of your dreams in slumber islands (instant bridges! i’m still not over it)

• sun salutations. now that the sun is actually visible and i can feel it on my arms through my windows, starting the day with some gratitude feels just right

• reminding yourself through the season that spring is the official time for new beginnings, that now is as perfect a time as any to start again

• the abundance of tiny daisies poking out of slightly overgrown grass

• wildflowers in general

• waking up to blue skies, sunshine and birdsong

• switching something up in your life, spring cleaning, rearranging. i recently completely rearranged the layout of my desk and it feels so refreshing along with spring blossoming outside my window

• nature walks without boots, hats, long coats and scarves, letting the edges of blades of grass tickle your calves, being able to hold the weightless life of a flower in your hand, having the physical freedom to take in everything nature has to offer

• light jackets

• making art, writing stories and promising that you won’t show anyone or post it online. engaging with projects without external validation

• that random week in early to mid may where it is nearly too hot and you wonder if it’s too early for a sundress and you start to think about the weeks on end where you’ll have the opportunity to wear that sundress again and again and again

• the perfect degree of heat on your cheeks

• saying goodbye to your long winter coats and thick jumpers

• the call of the soft life getting louder, filling your home with fresh flowers, slow walks through parks with friends, drinking tea and coffee outdoors and people watching, watching life unfold once again

hello quiet readers, happy spring!!! my partner and i recently bought some seeds at the garden centre and we’ve been waking up to see how much they’ve grown every morning. they really do grow up so fast :’) i can’t tell you how much joy i have now that i have a garden for the first time. i cannot wait to finish preparing it and get these flowers outside! i just really need to get over my fear of bugs and buzzing noises lol.

i hope you’ve had a lovely week, and if not, there’s always next week. take it slow today, do something nice for yourself. maybe take some inspiration from this week’s post and write a list of your own of all the things you want to try this season. it doesn’t have to be a lot, just something to spark joy :’)

if you missed it, here is my latest cosy hobby with me youtube video, zine making! and here is my latest post, a diary entry on a spring-filled trip to the postbox.

okay, that’s all from me. i’ll see you next week in the sun room <3

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anyway, here i am, the day before mother’s day, trimming pieces of paper and glueing them together and wondering what to write in this card that doesn’t sound too repetitive and quietly hating myself for being so last minute, again. i finish up the card, slip it into the envelope and leave my house to begin walking, or fighting, my way through a crisp spring morning breeze that is so crisp you might even call it sharp. i am wearing a jumper and the t-shirt i slept in underneath and this five degree wind is taking no prisoners. i saw the sun shining and a blue sky and forgot it was still early march, not the middle of june. the postbox is only two streets away but this walk feels like a pilgrimage.

while i walk, i glance down at the envelope in my icy grip and notice that you can easily work out some shaky cursive that says happy mother’s day underneath. the envelope has a 2nd class stamp on it, meaning it will take two to three working days to arrive, a stamp i had leftover from eagerly buying too many when i was shipping out my winter zines. thank god for that optimism, otherwise i would have been subjected to spending an ungodly amount on one of those cards you make online and get a company to ship it out for you without ever holding it in your hands first.

i’m hoping the postman who comes to collect this or the person at the sorting office catches a glance of my quaint handwriting and “accidentally” drops it in the 1st class bag. it wouldn’t be the first time a 2nd class stamp arrived somewhere much too early. it’s the main reason i never send things 1st class anymore.

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i hear a woodpecker in the distance. the wind is whipping past my face, a sound i will soon be engineering myself with an old letter that’s been lying around the house or a coveted piece of cardboard my partner and i will fight over come the inevitable heatwaves in the summer, but i could still hear its unmistakable mini drumrolls. i don’t remember the first time i heard a woodpecker, but i do remember the first time my partner told me it was so. now i always think of him when i hear one. i think of him every time i see a bird really, (he’s a big bird guy) more so pheasants or birds of prey, not so much pigeons.

but when i look up at a particular tree, and something small and green catches my eye, the woodpecker and all other sounds cease to exist. here it is, once again, my favourite view in the world. baby leaves. new life is happening once again all around us. i’ve been squinting my eyes at the trees across the street from my window in the hopes of seeing tiny speckles of growth to no avail, but on this brisk walk to the postbox ,where all i’m thinking about is hoping this stamp will morph into a first class stamp when i put it through the magical red portal, i am treated unexpectedly.

they’re small and curved and the freshest shade of green you’ve ever seen. they’re almost transparent. the early morning sun passes straight through them and i’m sure if i went a little closer, i might be able to see their tiny veins and darker spots of green versus lighter ones, the same way i attempt to blend my new alcohol markers to achieve the same look.

it amazes me every year. i never, and will never, get tired of this sight, and i think that’s one of the wonderful things about being human and being alive. i love that my eyes are able to see this, up close, the colour, the texture, the size, the detail. i love that i am able to comprehend what i’m looking at, new growth, new life, a spectacle, something i barely understand yet can still appreciate. i love that this happens every year but i am still filled with awe every year. that i am capable of appreciating the sun rise and set every single day and never get bored. i love that nature is always changing yet it is always the same but it will never disappoint me, it will never bore me. how wonderful it is to be alive and witness other things come to life.

i slip my envelope into the postbox and on my way back home, a cherry blossom petal brushes my cheek, i look out for more baby leaves, i don’t hear the woodpecker again. my hands are cold, but not for long. spring is here.

hello quiet readers, i hope you enjoyed this week’s post! i had a good time writing this one. who knew so much could happen on a three-minute walk to a postbox :’) daylight savings is just around the corner and i cannot wait, it's like a second christmas honestly. it never fails to excite me every year and i love it.

i hope you have a calming sunday ahead. if you’d like to hang out in the sun room a little longer, here is my last post on how i keep to a daily journaling routine and here is my latest youtube video where i explore a new hobby, colouring!

thank you for being here. i’ll see you next sunday, in the sun room <3

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after i brush my teeth, splash cold water on my face and make my first cup of tea, i step into the sun room (our second bedroom), flick the switch on my desk lamp and reach over to get my journal. i have many journals, but this is the only one i use every day. this is where i record my days in two or three sentences and track certain habits. it’s a simple practice, but one that gives me a sense of stability, repetition, peace. if i miss a day, something doesn’t feel right. my day feels slightly off kilter, and not just because this means i will have to work my memory extra hard to remember what i did for the past two days instead of one.

opening this little planner first thing every morning makes me feel like i’m slipping my feet into warm slippers. familiarity. safety. in the same way i know the sun will rise every morning and my kettle will make the same roaring noise in the kitchen below me, there’s something soothing about knowing exactly what’s going to happen next, that my planner will be waiting for me in its usual place, and i’ll open it at my desk when the sun has reached a familiar place in the sky.

the rest of the day may go in a completely different direction. my mornings are carefully structured until it’s time for my workout and shower around noon. after that, it’s anybody’s guess. but having these grounded mornings means i’ll be a little more ready for it. and if for some reason today is simply not the day, and nothing productive gets done, i’ll know in the back of my mind that at least the morning was good.

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i’ve seen endless aesthetic images of people’s journals and yearned to have one just like them, effortless and minimal. they track seemingly every part of the human experience that fluctuates in some way, allowing yourself to look into a mirror of straight lines, numbers and data. but adhering to this one aesthetic quickly took the fun out of it. i thought journaling would be something i would enjoy as someone who loves to write, loves organisation and will use any excuse to buy new stationery, but journaling became a chore. i was dreading sitting before my planner, filling out various bits of information i quite frankly didn’t care enough about to record. and it was incredibly boring to look at. another year or so wouldn’t pass until i made this hobby, now one of my favourites, work for me. and i hate to think that i could have missed out on something that brings me so much joy just because of what i saw online.

i spoke a little more about this in my latest youtube video where you can actually come and journal alongside me. and don’t forget to subscribe! <3

journal with me

i used to record what i ate, what i was watching, what i was reading, and it quickly became overwhelming. i’m sure there are journalers out there that love that sort of thing, but i’m not one of them. what lights me up the most is the decorating part (and i must admit i get a hit of dopamine every time i look at my line graphs). i used to miss days and get upset with myself, judge myself for not being self-disciplined enough. but ever since adjusting my approach, i haven’t missed a day since 1st january.

as i get older, i am realising, in all aspects of my life, that i am not a monochromatic sort of person. my wardrobe is currently filled with a lot of neutral colours, but i’m slowly starting to introduce some more pastels and actual colours in there too (maybe there really is something about turning 29…) and the same can be said for my little planner. i want it to be colourful and cute and something fun to return to.

now i have a simple routine that reinforces who i am every morning, almost like giving myself a little hug. instead of tracking every single thing under the sun, here are the few bits i want to remember and record on a daily basis:

my month at a glance

the first few pages of my planner are blank calendar pages where i write various events, birthdays and reminders in. as you may know, i’m not the most extroverted so these pages can be a little empty at times, but that doesn’t mean introverts can’t be planner people too. i make a note of when i need to return my library books, if i spent most of the day in the garden, i might mark that as garden day in there, and if had a spontaneous trip to town previously in the week, that gets put in there too. it’s less of an organisational tool and more of a reflection of my life, something i can flick back to and see where i was at in that point in time, what my life looked like, whether i seemed happy. so past events i forgot about also get entered.

this is also one of the sections i use to express my creativity. each month has a colour to me, so i try to decorate that page using washi tape, pens and stickers of that colour. for instance, march is a light green, the colour of baby leaves sprouting on trees, fresh grass, new beginnings. so this will be a very green page. this also corresponds to the graph pages in the back that i’ll talk about below. april is pink because of the cherry blossoms, july is pink because that’s my birthday so it’s favourite colour, but september is purple and november is navy because it just is.

a short reflection of the day

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it’s march. we made it. but i have to confess, i’ve already started daydreaming about spring. i just couldn’t wait. there are spring-themed tea towels hanging beneath my kitchen counter as we speak. and that one random warm day we had in the uk this week didn’t help. but i have no regrets.

february has been a strange month, equally nourishing and depleting. this was the month i downloaded tiktok and heavily regretted it, the month i introverted too close to the sun and realised i hadn’t seen any of my friends in well over a month. but also the month i discovered my love for stationery all over again and allowed myself to soften a little. i posted this note a while ago about how i feel like there are two versions of myself and how i can never choose one. but maybe i don’t need to choose one, perhaps i can just oscillate between the two. and just in time for spring, i’m feeling to embrace my love for soft colours again.

what about you? what are you reflecting on? how excited are you for spring or will you deeply miss those cosy, misty mornings. if you’re comfortable, feel free to drop your own little joys and sorrows in the comments, and let’s shake the frost off our shoulders and prepare for warmth once more.

okay, let’s get into the lists.

thank you for being here and supporting the sun room. your support means so much <3

little joys

• that one day in the uk where it was 17 degrees and we got a quick taste of what’s right around the corner. serotonin.

• and being in our garden that day, for more than three minutes just to hang the washing, and taking it in that this is ours, that we’ll be sitting out here for hours in just a couple of months, that we’ll eat lunches out here, read books together out here, watch the trains go by together, watch the clouds go by, watch our flowers grow and our vegetables wilt, fall in love all over again out here, wonder how we came this far from sitting in cemeteries to avoid neighbours to having our own uninterrupted patch of land to call ours. god i can’t wait.

• trips to the library and taking out way too many books, feeding my inner matilda

• changing the name of this newsletter and finally feeling like it’s perfect since starting it back in 2023! and your lovely support of the change <3

• sending snail mail to my lovely readers! i loved filling up little envelopes with a zine and some stickers and sending them off in a postbox to soon arrive in someone else’s hands. i’m so excited to do it again for spring!

• becoming a regular at one of the market stalls in town that sells the Cutest earrings and washi tapes (pink gummy bear earrings are currently my fave)

• the stationery crawl i went on earlier this month to equally acquaint myself with my new hometown and feed my insatiable stationery and sticker collecting habit

• seeing my best friend in london for a day, rejuvenating the soul, exercising my stomach muscles with belly laughs, defining my laugh lines, filling my cup back up

• my pinterest feed (the only feed i care about) is top tier at the moment, reminding me i have free will and that my house can look exactly how i want it to with the power of a hot glue gun, paint and some self-confidence

• reading the 12 week year with my other bestie and having weekly “meetings” with her to discuss the book and prepare our plans together. the only type of work meeting i want on my calendar tbh

little sorrows

• 2026 is doing me dirty so far with two periods a month. please choose another soldier

• looking up healthy recipes as a person with allergies and intolerances to nuts, eggs, cow’s milk and raw fruit and veg is a quickfire route to a depressive episode i’ve found

• seriously though what do i eat

• leaving the master copy of my zine in the copier at the library, rookie mistake come on candice

• there’s a cool thing happening with the planets on saturday and i probably won’t be able to see it because i live in the land of clouds (edit 01/26: i saw it!! it was radiant!!)

hello quiet readers, thank you for reading this week’s post, i hope you enjoyed. as always, feel free to drop your little joys and little sorrows in the comments. i always love to read your favourite moments of the past month :’)

if you liked this and want similar soft things weekly in your inbox, you can subscribe for free below. i’ll see you next week <3

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i have spent the past two weeks in a whirlwind of confusion and self doubt. i watched a video on youtube that annoyed me then intrigued me then excited me in the span of just a few minutes. now it has annoyed me again. i have briefly been sucked back into the world of social media, of content creation, of maybe it could work this time. i’ve said so much about just deleting the apps, about getting offline and reintroducing yourself to yourself through hobbies and passions and things you loved as a child. but then that video got me thinking, have i been saying the wrong thing? is social media really that bad? have i just been too afraid to try, for the fear that i am not as strong as i thought, for the fear that i would tip into the addiction like everyone else? it’s easy to preach getting offline if you find it easy. it’s easy when you never downloaded tiktok in the first place to tell others they don’t need it. it’s easy to say instagram is a waste of time when you’ve exhausted the platform entirely, when you’ve made so many accounts you wonder if someone at instagram thinks about you at night, thinks about you as they wonder if this job is really worth it anymore, thinks damn, that girl really can’t get enough, is instagram her entire life? i thought i escaped. instagram bores me, that is a fact. i’ll never go back. but tiktok could easily consume me. but then i watched that video and i thought: could i handle it?

the video references an article about our relationship with the machine, how most of us just accepted technology into our lives without really understanding it. i saw the clear waters of tiktok, i saw how deep those waters go, i saw the danger of drowning, but maybe i was concentrating on the wrong thing. maybe i just had to understand the app better. maybe there was more to see. look how clear the water is! what if i justed enjoyed the water close to shore, keep my head above water, i don’t have to be submerged. if i can carry the instagram app in my pocket on a daily basis and almost forget it’s there entirely, maybe i can give tiktok a try. i’ll do what the video says, use it as a tool. that’s what a lot of people say now, don’t run away from it, use social media as a tool, the same way i buy myself an extra large bar of chocolate and say i’ll only eat one row a day (i of course do not eat just one row a day). but it’s just something people say, no one actually does that, do they? i didn’t.

the pull. i forgot about the pull. it had only been a day or two with the new, shiny, unfamiliar square on my apps screen and yet every empty moment in my day had already been snatched away by the thought of scrolling. when i first made my account and logged in, the first video on my feed said hi ik ur on ur secret acc, let’s be friends. did it recognise my email address as something as obviously unserious, something i’d only use for a secret account? did it know me this intimately already? either way, i scrolled to the next video and perhaps i spent too long on that first video or it knew i screenshotted it and sent it to my friend, but the next video said having a secret acc is peaceful like me and my 4 followers against the world. this thing wants to know me. it wants me to know that it can reach the very depths of my psyche without me even knowing. it says keep going, let me show you what else i can do, let me hold up this mirror, let me tell you about yourself. that or these videos are what they show the majority of new accounts and maybe 80% of the time it’s applicable. who’s creating their first ever tiktok account nowadays. either way, my daily screentime on my phone went from around two hours a day to an average of six.

the rest of this post is for paid subscribers. upgrade your subscription or begin a free trial to find out how tiktok triggered a health anxiety panic, why spending such little time on this app prompted me to question my entire personality and my final thoughts at the end of this experiment. thank you for supporting the sun room :’)

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at almost this exact same time last month, i was getting ready to send you a letter telling you that i was changing the name of this newsletter to oat milk diaries. oat milk diaries is the name of my youtube channel and personal website and since finding quiet wasn’t sitting right with me (and hadn’t been for a while, it feels too “brand-y”), i thought it would be best to make both names the same, for business reasons or something. but then i remembered that i am not a business woman lol, and most importantly, that’s not why i made this substack, or my youtube channel or my personal website. i did all those things because it felt like a fun thing to do in the moment.

i thought it would be best not to rush into the new name, and it’s a good thing i didn’t because oat milk diaries still didn’t seem to fit the vibe i was going for here either. but i think i’ve found it now.

welcome to the sun room.

you may have seen me mention that my partner and i call our office the sun room because it’s the room that gets the most light. it’s also the only room that is actually completely decorated since we moved back in october, my favourite room in our house and where i do all of my writing. as soon as the sun room popped into my head as the potential new name for this newsletter, it felt right straight away. every time i sit down to write, i am sat in this room, staring out of the window, basking in the sunshine (as much as i can during winter anyway).

i also wanted to make the background colour of the site the same colour as the walls in here (which i’ve just learned is called honeydew! how sweet!) but that colour didn’t quite suit the vibe. just know, the colour of this newsletter’s soul is honeydew.

this name feels more fitting for the type of writing i want to share with you. not much will change, i’ll still write our monthly little joys and little sorrows and the quiet list will continue with free zines shipped to paid subscribers, but other posts will sound more like this and this. more personal posts i’d rather the whole world didn’t see will be for paid subscribers also. overall, i want to take a more diaristic approach with my writing, the sort of thing i was writing when i first started up this newsletter. i think i got a bit swept up in the numbers of it all, writing posts that didn’t really feel like me, checking stats too often, slowly moving away from the writer i’d really like to be.

i’d still like this to be somewhere quiet, cosy and thoughtful you come to when everything else feels a bit much. i still want you to leave my corner of the internet feeling a little replenished and a little more at ease.

i hope you like the new name. if you have any questions or thoughts, feel free to let me know in the comments. and thank you for understanding, i know big changes like these can be a little jarring.

love,

candice☀️​

there’s a break in the clouds. i look out of my window and just above the horizon, there is a strip of colourless light peeking through the thick clump of bluey grey clouds. the sky looks like it’s opening up like an ancient storybook or a coveted treasure chest, nothing but an almost blinding light that’s about to fill my entire scope of vision. it’s still winter, but this morning, something felt a little lighter in the air. the sky is starting to wake up a little earlier and there’s proof of it, not just outside my window, but dotted all around my house.

the kettle is boiling beside me. when i came downstairs this morning, the hallway had a blueish hue, the sort of blue you would only see at this time of year—murky, a little melancholy, but like all of nature, a little breathtaking. it’s bright enough that i don’t struggle to find my slippers at the bottom of the stairs. the first sign of sunshine has also found itself lying on top of our dining table. the tiles at the bottom of my feet have changed colour a bit. the tulips look a little dull in this light, but i am just happy to see them without switching on a light first.

i know we still have a way to go, spring equinox is nestled right at the end of the month for eager daffodils, but i can feel it now, it’s starting to get lighter a little earlier. before, i used to watch the morning sky, stretching in all directions like a body waking from deep slumber, and try to predict whether i could hang laundry outside or not. i enjoyed reading the sky’s fortune, looking for signs of a cloudless day. but now i can occupy myself with watching how the sky just knows. watching the cycle begin again once more. glancing at my clock each morning and finding light at an earlier time each day. my feet are still cold but slowly, my heart is warming up.

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i shake my oat milk furiously. every morning i am irrationally worried this will wake my partner, fast asleep upstairs, but the carton is about half empty now, so these are perfect conditions for a frothy tea. i watch the thick liquid pour into my favourite mug, the colour of my tea goes from the colour of damp soil to a light beige and with lots of bubbles on top. i feel like minjun from the book welcome to the hyunam-dong bookshop, trying his best to make the perfect cup of coffee, persevering through life’s unpredictable nature to create some sense of consistency in his life. no mater what happens today, i always have this morning ritual to ground me. there isn’t much art to creating a good cup of tea as opposed to a cup of coffee, but i enjoy the practise anyway. i swirl the mixture together, not too rigorously, only three to four cycles. in my experimentation, i’ve found this makes the tea a little thicker. i return to my blue staircase to have my first sip upstairs in the sun room.

the curtains are still drawn a little so i eagerly let the blue cosy up with our sage green painted walls in here as well. my monstera and i have our first sip of sustenance together.

since the big move from london, i have neglected this plant a little and there are some yellow and browning leaves. my heart breaks when i look at it. i’ve had this plant for a few years now and all it has done is thrive. a couple of weeks in a shadowy corner of our home while we sort through boxes and furniture and suitcases and more boxes has left it depressed, it seems. but it never fails to surprise me how similar we are. we too get a little depressed when we haven’t been nurtured, haven’t seen our friends in a while, haven’t been hugged, taken care of, loved.

i’ve since moved the plant into this room, the side of the house with the most light, and i’ve given it a hefty drink of water. surprisingly, the other day, i noticed a new leaf sprouting against one of its stems. it’s still going strong despite its yellow highlights. before i saw this leaf, i googled yellowing leaves like a hypochondriac. apparently the plant uses nutrients from its dying leaves to let new ones grow. i was pessimistic at the time, thinking it was all over, wishing somehow i could make them green again. it seems all i need to do is trust the process.

i take a few more sips of my cup of tea and get a cramp in my hand from holding my pen too tight as i journal. after a while, i lift up my head and i see the blue around the room has disappeared and has been replaced with a whiter light. the break in the clouds has gone and the sky is officially awake. i can turn off my lamp now. i stare at the soft brush strokes of sun in between the patches of dense and sparse clouds for a moment. today’s sky fortune looks like the kind where clouds peel off the sky a little to reveal the plain blue canvas underneath. i think i’ll do a load of laundry today.

hello quiet readers, something a little different today, but i really enjoyed writing this. i like taking small moments like these and writing about them, i hope you enjoy reading them too. spring is definitely on it’s way and as exciting as it is, i’m still being careful not to rush through the seasons. how are you feeling about the sky getting a little brighter each day? are you excited for spring or are you still gripping onto these last few weeks of cosy season? let me know.

thank you for reading this week’s post and supporting finding quiet. i hope you’re all enjoying last week’s winter edition of the quiet list and to those of you who bought one, your handmade zines! if you’d like one too, it’s not too late to get yours here or become a paid subscriber to get yours for free every season <3

okay, that’s all from me, i’ll see you next week <3

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welcome to another instalment of the quiet list, a library of lists to help you pause and think, winter edition.

is the darkness getting to you a little too much? does the weight of those moody grey clouds feel like they’re pressing right on your shoulders? do you need something to bring you back to the present and help you find the beauty in winter again? i think this will help.

stroll through this library of lists slowly, preferably on a laptop or tablet, and get in a comfy seat (or bed) with a hot drink and a pen and paper (you’ll need it). these rooms invite you to give yourself some much-needed time to simply be present in the moment and help you get through this last leg of darkness. there’s a lot to get through so take your time, come back to some rooms later, go at your own pace.

in the library, you’ll find the bookshelves, the hobby table, the writing room, the chair by the window and the research room. but if you feel like staying home, you’ll find a comfort list, a sensory list, permission slips and postcards from my home to yours.

also, the quiet list will now have a new companion, a handmade zine! if you’d like one, click here. if you’re a paid subscriber, you’ll receive a separate email with a code to get yours 100% off. wait for it to arrive in the post, feel the pages turn in your hands, leave it on your desk (or altar) as a reminder to be a little kinder to yourself this season. i hope you like it.

the quiet list is a series for paid subscribers, but i’m leaving this issue free for a short period of time to allow you to see behind the curtain a little. consider upgrading your subscription to receive a free zine every season and more posts on how to find quiet all year round <3

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okay, let’s get into the lists.

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the bookshelves

what i’m reading, what’s on the tbr shelf, new words i’ve learned, notes from my commonplace book.

currently reading: the safekeep by yael van der wouden. this is a great book, one of the books i wish i owned instead of borrowing from the library. i am so intrigued by isabel’s character; i’m interested in the idea of reservation and in her extremely austere nature. i don’t want to spoil it but i am loving watching everything unravel. the prose is a breath of fresh air, but sometimes it is too fresh, like taking in a quick breath on an extra frosty day. there are a lot of sentences that get cut off, and this isn’t just reserved for dialogue. it can feel a little disjointed at times. i like the technique, but personally i feel like it’s a little overused. definitely looking like a 4+ star read however.

vicissitude: an unpleasant change in circumstances

diaphanous: allowing light to pass through, transparent

“loving someone, if you think about it, is dangerous. i mean, how well can we know anyone? how well can we know even ourselves?” – the third love by hiromi kawakami

pleonastic: using more words than necessary

also rereading: welcome to the hyunam-dong bookshop for an essay i’m working on on why we feel guilty about liking a simple life. minjun, the character i’m most interested in, asks himself one day, “can i really live like this?” after he experiences a few good days taking a break from work and just going to yoga classes, eating well and watching movies in the evening. i’m finding myself more passionate about the idea of work and my changing perspectives on it.

“hobbies give you chances to manage and know yourself. which is another way of saying that they give you freedom.” – do we need hobbies? by joshua rothman for the new yorker

on the tbr shelf: (lots of books i’ve started and need to finish, really) white teeth by zadie smith, little women by louisa may alcott, all about love by bell hooks, novelist as a vocation by haruki murakmai

best books to cosy up with this season: japanese translation about cats, including she and her cat by makoto shinkai and naruki nagakawa (one of my all-time faves), we’ll prescribe you a cat by syou ishida, the full moon coffee shop by mai mochizuki, the travelling cat chronicles by hiro arikawa. for more like this, click here.

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the hobby table

some things i’ve been doing to pass the time, some inspiration for you.

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for the first time in years, january hasn’t felt like it went on forever. last year, i remember discussing with my colleagues in the office that january felt like it was eight weeks long. but this year, i have been so wrapped up in writing (and finishing!) my first short story, writing and brainstorming this newsletter for you, jumping headfirst into my hobbies, that i have barely noticed the sky change. we still have a couple of days left, but next sunday, when i see you again, it will be february, and before we know it, we’ll be out of the darkness and feeling the hot embrace of the sun once more. i cannot wait.

i’m thinking about how strange it is that january felt so long last year, even though i had a full-time job that was increasingly becoming more stressful. when we’re busy, time seems to speed past us like a blue tit jumping from garden to garden, and yet, it dragged on. but this year, i have been kept probably even more busy, and the month didn’t feel as long. what a difference it makes, being busy on our own terms, filling our time with things that bring us joy instead of dread and misery. i’ve loved spending full days at my desk, writing and creating, in comparison to full days at a desk in my old job as a copywriter. i’m learning the same lesson over and over again: we must centre joy as much as we can.

anyway, let’s get into the lists.

little joys

• since my partner and i moved in october, we haven’t had a chance to enjoy our garden, but it snowed the other week, so much so that we were able to make a snowman. i’m sure our neighbours thought we were being silly or much too old for this but it’s one of my favourite moments from this month so idc

• the snow was also beautiful in itself, i loved watching chunky snowflakes fall from the sky

• all the books i’ve read so far this year have been from the library and i think that’s very nice

• sunrises have been lovely this month

• still feeling grateful for this new home of ours and how much i love our office (or sun room as we like to call it). i feel like a little hobbit in its sacred cave, busy writing stories and putting stickers on everything

• baking is starting to feel less intimidating and i made banana bread that turned out really well. up next: apple strudel!

• blue skies in january are a blessing, it’s cold, but the lack of grey is refreshing

• spent a morning at the library journaling, annotating welcome to the hyunam-dong bookshop (working on an essay about this) and drafting a newsletter. the sky was blue, the sun was out and i bagged a coveted window seat. that was a good day

• i’ve been keeping up with my daily trackers! unheard of for me. i use this diary to write a sentence or two about my day and track my mood and sleep in a graph and check off whether i wrote, worked out, read, etc. that day or not. it’s such a grounding practice and i’m proud of myself for keeping up with it every day

(if you’re enjoying this intimate post, things are getting more personal in the paid tier. consider upgrading your subscription for a look into exactly how i’m making room for joy and a little more quiet. enjoy the quiet notes from my journal series and the quiet list filled with lots of romanticised lists every season (winter instalment coming next week!) thank you for your support of finding quiet <3)

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little sorrows

• i started the year on the wrong book. sorry to say that the book of goose by yiyun lee did not land well with me. it just felt a little bland and i didn’t care much for the characters

• it’s been a solitary month, i haven’t really noticed this much but i should probably take a trip to london soon and remind my friends what i look like

• unfortunately the snowman only lived a short life before falling down to his demise about four minutes after creation (pictured below)

• is the new thing about job searching just not getting any replies at all? are we not even doing generic rejections anymore?

thank you for reading this week’s post! as i mentioned, next week will be the winter instalment of the quiet list, which paid subscribers get full access to. i’ve also been working on a little companion to go with it that i hope you’ll enjoy. let’s just say, if you’re looking to go more analogue this year, you might be a fan…

i’m taking things back to basics with it, experimenting with the magazine format for the last one was fun, but i think i actually prefer the newsletter format (and this fun little thing on the side). thank you for being patient with me on this, sometimes it takes a few tries to see what sticks!

i hope you have a restful sunday. do something nice for yourself today.

i’ll see you next week <3

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but something about walking into a dark room and an even darker sky first thing in the morning solidifies how much i dislike winter. one evening, i was simply sick of looking out the window and seeing nothing at all (although the lack of london’s light pollution is quite nice), and i tried closing the curtains for once and found that the room was a lot cosier—just me, the soft glow of my laptop and the lamp in the corner. maybe i should keep them closed until there is something to look at in the mornings too.

so as i write this, it’s nearly half past seven and the curtains are still closed. i’ve learned the sun’s language. i know she’s about to rise any minute now and the sky, if i’m lucky, will start to turn a blush pink like the colour of my new cashmere socks, my cd player, my tablet case, my favourite colour. this excites me. it makes me think about going for a walk as soon as the sky brightens a little more, so i can breathe in that crisp, fresh, wintery morning air and drink it up like pink lemonade. sometimes the sky remains dark and that means it’s going to be a cloudy morning, or more likely, a cloudy day. on these days, it’s important to keep busy.

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