2024: a year of going slow
how i applied slowness to every part of my life this year and the unexpected result
I decided that my word of the year for 2024 was slow, and then I planted this word into every part of my life. What came from it, aside from the natural ebbs and flows of life, was an incredibly peaceful year. I threw away any expectations of the person I was “supposed” to be, I didn’t take things too seriously, I quit social media, I left the house a little more, I opened up, slowly, like a flower bud, to the rest of the world that had seemed, to me, to be rushing past at a frightening speed. I focused on stretching my neck out of the car window and appreciating all the wonderful scenes passing by, getting out every now and then to pick up a flower and let the scent run through my nervous system, stare up at the sky, take a deep breath, recognise I was alive and head back into the car to continue my journey. I didn’t do anything incredibly impressive this year, I didn’t travel anywhere exciting or meet any crazy goals but I did realise that these things are perfectly okay. I was not born to be extravagant or impressive to anyone, not even myself. To simply be alive is extravagant and impressive enough.
This year I read my books slowly. I did not give myself an arbitrary reading goal. Reading isn’t a competition, with anyone or yourself, it’s a personal experience, a private conversation between you and the characters in a book, its themes, its meanings, its relatability, the stylised thoughts of another human being’s mind. I marked pages with ink and highlighter pens, I stuck sticky notes and tabs on those pages, I immortalised my thoughts in the margins, and I took my time. And I have never felt more connected to the books I’ve been reading. I didn’t look at my shelf and decide on what to read next by looking at a book’s length or font size. I returned to my most natural state of a mood reader and picked up a chunky 600+ page book right at the end of the year (blasphemous once) and sunk into the vastly deep and rich storyline for a month, maybe two. I remember where I was when I read it. I remember what my living room felt like, how the mornings broke while that book was in my hand, I remember the ever-growing vignette of the world around me as the seasons morphed from autumn to winter, how the candle in my cracked panda mug flickered. I remember so much more than the book itself now.
I started to move my body more, and I didn’t berate myself when I didn’t for a day or two. I recognised when my body needed a moment to recover. I recognised that although my body was ready to move, my mind was not all the way there and that there are times to get up and move anyway and times when it’s okay to be motionless. I removed the word lazy from my vocabulary. I reminded myself that rest is also productive, that it is in times of rest that we grow stronger, where ideas germinate and grow to their full potential. I didn’t let myself be controlled by an external force or a tired parental echo that told me I needed to be productive at all hours of the day. I blocked out the idea that we need to be constantly in motion. We already are. My lungs expand and deflate, my chest rises and falls, my hands write, my eyes dart across the sky to follow the wings of a bird in the sky, the hairs on my skin stand and lay flat again, my intestines digest, my hair grows, my heart beats. I learned that nothing stops when we rest. I learned, and I’m still learning, the balance of practising self-discipline and knowing when it is time for rest.
I put my phone down and stopped stifling my creativity with comparison and numbers and metrics. I picked up my crochet needle, I picked up my washi tapes and felt tip pens and stickers and my bullet journal, I picked up books that I wanted to read not what Instagram was reading, I picked up my Nintendo Switch, I picked up old characters in my head and gave them life on my laptop screen in the form of short stories, I picked up my tablet and listened to the radio, to podcasts, to playlists of relaxing music to meditate to, I picked up my yoga mat, I picked up some weights. It’s incredible how large of a shadow your phone can cast. I let the light in again, and I remembered why we are so lucky to be alive. And I can’t wait to feel even more grateful for this next year.
Later on in the year, I realised the importance of seasonal living and reminded myself that we are also animals that may shine a little brighter in certain seasons of the year than others. I gave myself grace in knowing that I am not a huge fan of the darker months and that it’s okay if my calendar isn’t as full at these times. But I also tried to stay present and not wish away an entire season while waiting for the next one. Instead, I learned to appreciate the darker months as invitations to decorate my home, drink more hot chocolates, light candles, drape myself in blankets practically at all times, to find the apotheosis of what it means to be cosy and embody that, also, practically at all times. I learned to be grateful for every season and the opportunities they bring; spring for new beginnings, summer for joy, autumn for beauty and winter for rest. I won’t leave this year as a book I read once and forgot about, it will be the story and the characters I will carry around with me somewhere in the non-tangible parts of me, something weightless I will carry with me everywhere.
Next year, I think I’ll hang on to the slow approach once again, it’s sort of become my north star, my centring point. Using my phone less and less as the seasons morphed into the next helped to dispel the need to rush and the idea that I’m running out of time. Next year will be the time to practice what I have learned this year, admire all the seeds I have planted and enjoy the vast flower fields I have created.
hello lovely readers, how has this year been treating you? did you have a word of the year this year? tell me all about it, i’d love to know, and i need some inspiration to decide on my word for next year too.
i love reflecting like this. it’s such a warm way to admire everything you did over the past 12 months in a way that isn’t counting achievements or how many things you’ve ticked off a list but instead just your overall approach and feelings towards the year as a whole. like i said, i didn’t do anything crazy this year, but i think this was a perfectly pleasant year. i hope you can say the same or you are able to next year :’)
thank you again so much for reading and for being here, it really means a lot to me.
pls like, comment, share, all that good stuff. here is my latest post if you missed it.
i’ll see you next week for a tiny festive message <3
I chose the word “slow” as my word of the year and then I saw this post, omg!