I just want to say that (as a 40-year old woman) it gets much, much easier to say, “hahaha oh absolutely not. That sounds like a horrible idea.” But, in a kind and caring way, of course. You will begin to notice that your rowdy friends become more drawn to you in the coming years. They will seek your kind of peace and find you to be a refuge (even a mentor, possibly). Keep the hot chocolate at the ready.
Love how you framed the awkward moment when freinds ask what you've been up to and the answer is just reading and crocheting. I've felt that same weird shame spiral trying to make my weekend sound more intresting than it was. The wild part is realizing that quiet consistency is actually harder than performative chaos, like staying in and working on something meaningful takes more disipline than just showing up to another bar.
ooh that's a good point, consistency is hard! especially if you're staying consistent with things most people might deem a waste of time or strange or whatever. i like this perspective <3
This was exactly what I needed, I felt so seen! It's been a struggle to accept my interests especially since I'm still in college and everyone around me seems to be just having the time of their lives with all sorts of crazy experiences each and every day. Meanwhile, I can contribute nothing except how I sat in my bed for an entire weekend, a third of the way through with a book series about queer fairies. A goal of mine for this year was to just accept how slow I'm taking life and what truly makes me at peace and happy, and this post hit so close to home for me. I especialy loved the part about the type of friend you are and aren't because I could truly relate on some of those aspects. I might not be the friend they can go to for a night on the town, but I can be a friend they can cozy up with on a cold evening. Joy comes in many forms, why should we confine ourselves to just one?
absolutelyyy, and girl i felt the same way during uni and i wish i had even a tiny bit of the realisation you’re having right now back then. you’re on the right tracks, like you said joy doesn’t look the same for everyone, you’re doing just fine as you are <33
You sound like a great friend! Hot chocolates at home and cozy picnic summers sound like everything I'd love doing with a friend haha. Thanks for the reminders <3
I have definitely come to realize that fun looks different for each individual. I used to think that life had to go a certain way to be fulfilling, but in my process of making new adult friends (which is so fun!), i have come to appreciate differences of joy manifestation.
exactly! there are so many of us, of course some of us will prefer a quieter kind of fun to others, it's so weird how we make ourselves feel bad about that? thank you for your comment <3
I wish I could send this my 16 year old me... it would have eased their worries. But it is still comforting to read as a 22 y.o. with the same feelings ❤️ thank you!!
I just want to say that (as a 40-year old woman) it gets much, much easier to say, “hahaha oh absolutely not. That sounds like a horrible idea.” But, in a kind and caring way, of course. You will begin to notice that your rowdy friends become more drawn to you in the coming years. They will seek your kind of peace and find you to be a refuge (even a mentor, possibly). Keep the hot chocolate at the ready.
patiently waiting for this moment! thank you :')
Love how you framed the awkward moment when freinds ask what you've been up to and the answer is just reading and crocheting. I've felt that same weird shame spiral trying to make my weekend sound more intresting than it was. The wild part is realizing that quiet consistency is actually harder than performative chaos, like staying in and working on something meaningful takes more disipline than just showing up to another bar.
ooh that's a good point, consistency is hard! especially if you're staying consistent with things most people might deem a waste of time or strange or whatever. i like this perspective <3
This was exactly what I needed, I felt so seen! It's been a struggle to accept my interests especially since I'm still in college and everyone around me seems to be just having the time of their lives with all sorts of crazy experiences each and every day. Meanwhile, I can contribute nothing except how I sat in my bed for an entire weekend, a third of the way through with a book series about queer fairies. A goal of mine for this year was to just accept how slow I'm taking life and what truly makes me at peace and happy, and this post hit so close to home for me. I especialy loved the part about the type of friend you are and aren't because I could truly relate on some of those aspects. I might not be the friend they can go to for a night on the town, but I can be a friend they can cozy up with on a cold evening. Joy comes in many forms, why should we confine ourselves to just one?
absolutelyyy, and girl i felt the same way during uni and i wish i had even a tiny bit of the realisation you’re having right now back then. you’re on the right tracks, like you said joy doesn’t look the same for everyone, you’re doing just fine as you are <33
Hey! I love this. This is sooooo me. Please tell me , are you stalking me?! You have just described how I feel day in and out. Beautiful ❤️
Thanks for sharing! What I’ve been learning is that it really takes time to accept who we are. It kind of happens bit by bit.
I hate the question "what did you do at the weekend?" for these exact reasons!
right! :(
I have never related to an essay more. -Sincerely, a fellow crochet lover and a 21-year-old introverted girl.
haha never change girl
You sound like a great friend! Hot chocolates at home and cozy picnic summers sound like everything I'd love doing with a friend haha. Thanks for the reminders <3
aw this is so sweet! thank you :')
I have definitely come to realize that fun looks different for each individual. I used to think that life had to go a certain way to be fulfilling, but in my process of making new adult friends (which is so fun!), i have come to appreciate differences of joy manifestation.
exactly! there are so many of us, of course some of us will prefer a quieter kind of fun to others, it's so weird how we make ourselves feel bad about that? thank you for your comment <3
I wish I could send this my 16 year old me... it would have eased their worries. But it is still comforting to read as a 22 y.o. with the same feelings ❤️ thank you!!
i wish i had read something like this when i was 22! you're doing better than me already :') i'm glad you found this comforting <3