little joys and little sorrows #19
reflecting on november (and a 50% off sale to say thank you): seeing lorde live, making new friends, am i pretentious?, christmas!, returning to youtube + more
hello quiet readers, i hope you’re well. just a quick note before we get started. friday marked two years since i first posted here on substack. i’m so proud of myself for sticking with this and for staying consistent, but honestly, you’re a huge part of the reason why.
to say thank you, i’m offering 50% off paid subscriptions. with a paid subscription, you’ll help keep this newsletter (and me as i look for a new job, cry with me) going. sale ends tomorrow!
you can also buy me a coffee oat milk tea here if that’s easier for you.
thank you so much again. okay, let’s get into the lists
the swift beauty of autumn has come and gone and the biting chill of november has now settled into my bones. i watch the very last leaves on almost bare twigs dangle in the wind. they remind me of myself when i, too, am afraid of change.
cups of tea have become abundant in this house. wherever you look, there is a mug sitting idle somewhere. if it’s mine, there is always a sad puddle of cold tea left inside; if it’s my partner’s, it’s drained down to the last drop.
although i can no longer feel the sun’s warm touch, i can still see it in the sky when i sit in our newly named green room. so much change has happened this month, which makes me feel so aligned with the seasons changing outside. i am also just a small leaf just removed from one scene and is now drifting in the wind in search of its next resting location.
little joys
my partner and i have been very busy making the house we recently bought a home, and it makes me so happy to see it slowly come together. i’m currently writing to you in our newly painted mint green second bedroom (the green room). the light looks gorgeous in here.
this room also has a perfect view of the moon. spent most of the afternoon with it in my peripheral on friday. tranquil to say the least.
coming back to youtube and making cosy vlogs again. i really missed that.
seeing lorde live. i danced. i cried. i jumped in time with the pulsing music and everyone else around me. ella was inches away from me as she sang one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs she’s ever written. i heard buzzcut season live, my all-time favourite song, and i think i levitated for a moment.
still appreciating the joys of having a garden and hanging our washing on the line, keeping an eye on the sky like a pie in the oven, waiting for just the perfect moment to take it out before it burns, running out into the garden and pulling all the clothes off the line before a huge rainfall. working on one of my special skills being reading the clouds.
borrowing books from the library, seeing the noticeable boost in my reading habits because of it.
my new job was absolutely horrid, but i made a new friend from it and we both clicked with each other almost instantly. all the tears and sleepless nights were worth it if it meant finding someone so lovely in a brand new town i was nervous to move to.
it’s so quiet here. all i can hear is a passing train every so often.
finally finding a method to help me stick with writing (and hopefully finishing) a piece of short fiction
finding my love for film again this month. i watched decision to leave (2022) the other day and loved the running mountains and water metaphor, the thoughtful transitions, the exploration into obsession and love. definitely something you need to watch a couple times and i love art like that. (which reminds me, it’s almost time for my annual reread of the secret history) and also just listening to the korean language to be honest, i’ve always loved the way it sounds
it’s nearly time to put up the christmas tree! and decorate our new home for the holidays for the first time. i’m so excited.
and of course, i'm looking forward to christmas in general. i love how twinkly everything is, the joy in the air, christmas markets. it’s also the one time of year i really, really love and care about food.
little sorrows
back on the job application grind and hating every second, naturally
witnessing the discourse on how much people hate “content” on reducing screentime/social media bad and “pretentiously talking about hobbies” and feeling like this. i can’t help that this is a special interest of mine and i like talking about it and people like reading about it. sorry.
there’s something sorrowful about watching one of the last autumn leaves hang on for dear life on a tree
some days i feel like i’m allergic to everything and it’s exhausting. if it’s not struggling to sit in a cafe (may contain nuts in oat milk???), it’s the dust in the house, soon it will be the pollen, can i eat eggs again yet? i think i can feel when i eat too much wheat—i’m tired.
our garden looks very, very sad in comparison to the neighbours. very much hoping they’re not judging us for all the moss and weeds.
as always, feel free to leave your own little joys and little sorrows in the comments below as your own reflection for the month. i always love to hear them.
and don’t forget to claim your birthday discount below!
thank you for reading, i’ll see you next week <3
I love content about moving away from screens/social media and I love your content! I didn’t know you had vlogs so I’m really looking forward to watching them 😊
thank you nancy :') that means a lot! i hope you enjoy the vlogs too hehe🫶🏾