realising i can't write a book, buying (another) gaming console, my first yoga class, a solo trip to cambridge & more
little joys and little sorrows #27 | reflecting on july
i wait for july every year like someone politely waiting for everyone to receive their food at a restaurant before tucking into their plate. it’s my birthday month, and no matter how old i get, i will always look forward to julys.
but this one was a fast one. my calendar was dotted with lots of little things—my first yoga class, my fiancé’s (!) birthday, my mum coming to visit, his mum coming to visit—i’m a little tired, but in all the right ways. i also got a huge amount of time off which was so lovely. i would have never been able to take that amount of time off in my office job without feeling bad about it or having to convince my manager that yes i would indeed like to not be here on my birthday. thinking of how i used to ration 19 days of holiday a year makes me shiver. never again. at least, not anytime soon.
anyway, let’s get into the lists.
little joys
first on the list is of course, me getting engaged!! i wrote more about it here and here.
my friends coming over to celebrate my birthday with me was so wholesome. i got us air dry clay kits and we made cute animals :’)
one of them made vegan double chocolate muffins for me (sobbing, crying) and as someone with an egg intolerance and allergy to nuts, i have been craving a moist, chocolatey cake for YEARS and she hit the damn spot. i don’t know how she did it and i didn’t think it was possible but i love her even more now.
also my mum coming to visit me and making me my favourite caribbean dish for my birthday. i was eating Good last week girls.
technically we are in a drought and that’s not great but i can’t deny how ecstatic i am about all this sunshine and bright blue skies
went crabbing for the first time with c and his family! held a crab in my hand!
went for a couple of fishing trips which were very peaceful, also caught a fish myself! it’s exactly like animal crossing the fishing line bobs and everything.
grateful for having the problem of having to buy new clothes because they don’t fit anymore because working retail is basically getting paid to exercise.
i had been searching for a handheld gaming console for pretty much the entire month before i landed on an asus rog ally (z1 extreme) and i love it! i hate gaming at a desk and lugging my laptop everywhere was annoying but with this i can finally play steam games while i cosy up on the couch or in bed! stay tuned for pics of it heavily personalised on my blog and pinterest soon!
took a solo trip to cambridge to visit the bookshop with the ladders! (topping and co.)
the library is finally opened again after its refurbishments since spring!! went to visit the other day and i Love the changes they’ve made. i can’t wait to spend hours reading and writing in there.
my substack has been stressing me out for the longest time. i haven’t known what to write, how often to write, whether i still can write, how my personal blog fits into all this, etc. etc. but i think the clouds are finally dispersing.
went to my first yoga class and i loved it! i’ve always imagined myself going to yoga and fitness classes but anxiety takes over. hoping i can gear myself up to go to another one alone and maybe make it a weekly thing.
also joking with said friend about whether we should start a yoga teacher training course and become yoga teachers after 1 (one) class. but you don’t necessarily have become a yoga teacher after studying and i’m genuinely interested in the philosophy behind it and i may or may not have started saving up for a course.
little sorrows
turning 29 and getting engaged on the same day stirred up a little existential moment, but a welcomed one nonetheless.
i’m about to work five days in a row at my retail job. might buy myself some doughnuts from morrisons at the end of it so i have something to get me through it.
fiction really hasn’t been capturing me this month, i don’t think i’ve read any at all and this is very strange.
i’ve been feeling extremely unmotivated for pretty much the entire summer but i do think i’m at the tail end of it
coming to the realisation that perhaps i can’t write a book, at least not the book i thought i would write. trying to figure out my identity as a writer has been a difficult process that is still ongoing. will be writing to you about this soon.
the utter lack of yoga i have been doing even though i’ve been so deeply interested in its history and philosophy lately.
thank you for reading!
as always, feel free to add your own little joys and little sorrows for july in the comments. i always love to read them.
for more behind the scenes stuff, photos from my life, hobby updates, what i’m reading, i run a personal blog here (photos page has just been updated!) desktop viewing only.
that’s all for now, i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3