taking a break from substack, beginning a spiritual journey, being online as a hobby & the gift of having a garden
little joys and little sorrows #24
hello quiet readers,
it’s been a while, how have you been?
april is quickly becoming my (second) favourite month i think. it’s taken me a while to realise it, but there’s something sweet about the air in april. the magnolia trees, the cherry blossoms petals that line the pavements, the vibrant shade of blue in the sky, leaving the house without a thick coat, reading outside again! there’s so much to be grateful for, so much to look at and appreciate. the world is officially awake once more and i along with it. if march is throwing the duvet cover off and getting out of bed, april is taking your first sip of a hot cup of tea, slowly warming up to the world again, excited to see what the day brings.
it’s been a busy month but also one of the most calming and rejuvenating kinds. let’s get into the lists.
you may have noticed i’ve been gone for a few weeks. thank you for being patient while i took some time to think and make some much needed changes in my life. i really appreciate you being here <3
little joys
i’ve made some huge changes in my life. after realising that stomach aches every other day, clenching my jaw constantly, not sleeping well and always feeling on edge wasn’t normal, i made a decision to calm down. i’ve started meditating, doing free movement in the mornings (which i thought was qigong but probably isn’t but either way, i like it), stretching my body every day, deepening my yoga practice and making sure i was actually listening to my body, and i’m really happy to say i’ve seen some huge improvements. life feels really good right now.
i also got a job and as painfully introverted as i am and as much as i hate being new at something, i think it’s helping me too.
realising that working in retail is a completely different experience when it’s something you choose rather than something you feel like you have to do. i love being able to have full weekdays to do anything i want and not have a job that stresses me out.
i have officially finished a short story, edited and everything!! 10,000 words! i’m going to print it off so i can look at it, remind myself that i did it, that i can do it again. i haven’t decided if i want people to read it yet or not…
my library is closed until mid summer (sorrow) but it meant i could take out books and keep them until they reopen! so i currently have 10 books on loan :)
i’ve been reading so, so much. the roots of yoga by nikita desai is very good and the circle by dave eggers is crazy i can’t put it down. will update you on my other library books in another post, but if you want to see my thoughts now, you can head to my personal website where i blog regularly! (desktop viewing only)
reframing my perspective of being online as one of my hobbies instead of a potential income stream has lifted so much weight off my shoulders and made being online actually fun again.
when i look up i see fresh, vibrant green leaves against a backdrop of deep blue cloudle ss skies. it’s always breath taking, every year.
feeling the sun on my skin again and feeling it reignite my very being
all the reading i’ve been doing in our garden. the fact that i have a garden. the fact that i can go and sit outside among some flowers and birdsong and big, tall trees and hear them rustle in the distance whenever i want. how much of a gift it is to own a garden.
i love books!
reading up on yoga and it’s philosophical roots and changing up my practice so that it’s more authentic and already noticing some small changes (e.g. realising the voice is my head is pretty harsh and doesn’t leave room for gentleness when performance is involved. oof.)
i’ve always said for years that i’ve wanted to go on a spiritual journey and i’ve tried to force it but the path i am on now sort of appeared without me knowing. i’m liking where i’m headed.
little sorrows
as i said above, the library is closed for refurbishments. missing her dearly.
looking back at all the time i spent putting immense pressure on myself to upload every week even though no one asked, to be someone who i wasn’t and all the stress i was putting my body under for no reason.
there are parts of my job that i am actively avoiding because i’m afraid of getting something wrong and looking stupid.
finally finished all about love by bell hooks. i’ve been reading it for what feels like years and i didn’t… love it. a couple of chapters were very poignant, but i didn’t feel like i learned as much as i thought i would from it.
i have a similar sentiment towards the highly sensitive person by elaine aron. it’s not resonating with me as much as i thought it would.
feeling my motivation dwindle as i approach week 10 of the 12 week year i’m doing with my bestie. we’re so close to the end and i am struggling to find the energy i had at the beginning of our journey.
thank you for reading my little joys and little sorrows. as always, and especially now as it’s been a while since we’ve spoken, please feel free to share your own little joys and sorrows for april. i always love to read through them.
i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3