the quiet list
some reflections and recommendations
Hi everyone, how was your Easter? I’ve taken today and tomorrow off work so I could have just under a week off altogether, we thank god for Bank Holidays.
But this sneaky extended leave was so so needed you have no idea. After reading this piece by Freya India, I am becoming more mindful of what I share online so I won’t be going into details, but I’ll just say my mind, body and soul needed a week of doing absolutely nothing and thinking about absolutely nothing. After dealing with health issues, diagnoses, stress and death concerning me and my family members, this Easter couldn’t have come at a better time.
Although I have a couple of ideas for longer deep dive pieces, naturally I’ve been a bit distracted. This week is more of a month-in-review post (an extended little joys and little sorrows but without the sorrows) where I’m going to try and focus on the positives and hopefully give you some recommendations and moments to reflect on your own lives, quietly :)
I hope you enjoy the rest of your week and that April is good to you.
a list of quiet reflections:
Do we need to make years Our Year? Do we need to plan to make things good or can they just turn out to be? Is this why everything always feels like it’s going wrong because I have done too much planning, I’ve expected too much from the utter random and chaotic nature of life?
Writing is a process and I have to write in order to be in that process and failure is part of that process
The power of being horizontal
How fascinating it is that we can feel like the end of the world is staring at us in the face and that there is no possible way we’ll be okay afterwards but afterwards comes and we do smile again
How the world doesn’t have to see me in order for it to be real
What it felt like to delete my (main) Instagram account and the frivolousness of online “connection”
That writing down a list of my worries helps but having someone talk them through with me helps even more
Realising that I am someone who lives in their head a lot and that head is full of worries
New vibe unlocked: Head Empty
Thinking I need to read Ottessa Moshfegh’s My Year of Rest and Relaxation and take a leaf out of that book.
On reflection, I feel better once I have failed at writing rather than not writing at all
a list of quiet reading:
I haven’t done nearly as much reading as I usually would four months into the year. I have about six books on the go but every time I try to read my mind keeps travelling elsewhere. It’s very annoying. Here is what I’m attempting to read, some articles I enjoyed and some books I’m looking forward to reading once my mind calms down.
books:
Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami
Three women—two sisters and a niece—grapple with the challenges and pressures of womanhood in modern Japan. One wants to be a writer, one really wants a boob job and the other has suddenly stopped speaking.
I’ve started and stopped this book about three times and I am so desperate to like it. I can’t tell if it’s just the headspace I’m in at the moment or I’m just not that into it. I didn’t love her other book All the Lovers in the Night as much as I thought I would either so maybe it’s just a me and Kawakami thing. Lots of women talk though which is a thumbs up from me.
Coin Locker Babies by Ryu Murakami
Two babies are abandoned in coin lockers and eventually find each other again in an orphanage. They journey their separate lives exploring themes of identity, trauma, and the search for belonging.
I’m only putting this on the list because the first sentence will haunt me for the rest of my life. Despite this, I still took it to the Waterstones till and purchased it. I haven’t picked it up for a while after only reading the first couple of pages but if you want something really, really weird… yeah, this is the one.
The Female Body Bible by Dr Emma Ross, Dr Bella Smith and Baz Moffat
(Non-fiction) A guide into the female body, understanding health and wellness as an active woman and exploring myths, taboos and the lack of study about women’s bodies, especially in sports.
This book has already taught me so much and I’m going to recommend it to every gal as a must-read, regardless of their fitness level. I’ve had to stop running because of the reasons I mentioned above but this book really came at the perfect time. I now know exactly what type of running bra I need to buy :)
When God Talks Back by Tanya Luhrmann
(Non-fiction) An exploration into evangelical Christianity, examining how normal, sensible people are certain of supernatural events and hearing God’s voice speak to them as if it were any other human.
As someone with a very religious mother who constantly claims God is speaking to her, my interest was piqued when I heard Luhrmann mention her book in a talk she participated in on human consciousness. I really like this read so far, and I’m appreciating how she isn’t coming for religious people’s necks as she tries to explore their very personal experiences with a debatable higher being.
Ordinary Notes by Christina Sharpe
A series of 248 notes with profound questions about loss, pain and beauty; private memory and public monument; art; complexity; and the shapes of Black life that emerge in the wake.
Get you a work bestie who’s kind enough to let you borrow her books!! I didn’t want to start another book since I’m already partway through several but I want to give this one back in a timely manner. This book is a lot heavier than I thought it was when she first told me about it. It reminds me of Claudia Rankine’s Citizen if you’ve ever read it. If you liked that, you’ll like this too. It’s definitely something I have to be in the right state of mind to read, the subject matter is very raw.
Looking forward to: Babel by R.F. Kuang, Writers and Lovers by Lily King, Write for Life (workbook) by Julia Cameron, Nausea by Jean-Paul Satre, Mr Loverman by Bernadine Evaristo.
articles:
What I’m Sitting With by Lisa Olivera
A beautiful list of contemplations I was instantly obsessed with and want to practice doing more often.
The End Of The Extremely Online Era by Thomas J Bevan
Do you ever wonder if you actually enjoy being online? I was having thoughts that I was just becoming bored of the internet (social media, YouTube, articles about nothing, CONTENT) and then I read this and I was pleasantly surprised to see my thoughts in someone else's head. Must read if you regularly think about unplugging your WiFi and only turning it back on to look up the British spelling of things.
(This is also on my list of topic ideas to explore. I’m so interested in the effects the internet is having on us and what’s to come, stay tuned!)
The Weaver - Lit Mag (Issue 1) by Kim Rashidi
An insanely beautiful literary magazine with equally beautiful writing. I read the whole thing in one sitting and I just loved the aesthetic of a newspaper to sift through, it’s so unique! It was such a delight to receive it in the post as well. Already looking forward to issue 2!
Why Weird Girl Fiction Speaks To Something In All Of Us - Off Chance Mag
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder has been on my tbr for months and even though it sounds so so weird, for some reason I already understand it. I enjoyed Lizzy O’Riordan’s take on weird girl fiction and why stories about turning into a dog can be relatable for all of us girls
a list of quiet recommendations:
A Murder at the End of the World - Disney+
Think The Menu but you don’t know who’s killing the rich people off one by one. This is a series I kept seeing pop up on the Disney+ homepage and kept thinking it was a KPop documentary because of the protagonist’s baby pink boyish haircut in the thumbnail. Once I finally clicked on it and realised it was a series about murder, I said ooh yes please. And I am HOOKED.
The story is split into the past and the present, the past is two vigilantes who meet online determined to solve a cold serial killer case and the present is one of said two (horribly described as Gen Z in the description) who has been invited to Iceland to use her hacking expertise to help save the world from climate change etc. along with several other people with too much money. But someone is killing them off one by one to hide a huge secret… Get on it, it’s good.
This video on Influencers Lying About Their Lifestyle by Hannah Alonzo
I’m guilty of falling for this and wanting to change my life to emulate “That Girl” and this video was a good reminder that none of it is real. Some of the fakery Hannah catches in this video is downright funny and makes you laugh at yourself for ever wanting to copy these people. Definitely watch this if you want to be done with chasing “That Girl” FOR GOOD. This is episode 4 of her Influencer Insanity series which is really interesting and eye-opening!
This video of a Shocking MLM Team Call Footage that will make you gag
We already know MLMs are scammy and vile but watching the footage of what really goes on in their calls is even worse. This is another idea I have for a piece (and maybe YouTube video?) of my time working as a copywriter for “coaches” and how incredibly dirty I felt the entire time. An exposé if you will. I think we should just throw the entire coaching industry away. If you don’t have several degrees and licenses from actual reputable institutions, I don’t want to hear it!!
Just some Good Spring Vibes
There are a ton of these videos on YouTube of pure nature sounds that brighten my soul, especially first thing in the morning. If you’re looking for spring but England keeps telling you no, just pop this on your TV and enjoy the embrace of spring from the comfort of your home.
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Excellently written