the quiet list #4

for my list lovers; digital gardens, do dreams have a shelf life? the intellectualism crisis and more books, articles and recommendations

hello quiet readers,

welcome to another instalment of the quiet list, a bi-monthly wrap-up of some thoughts i’ve been having, articles, books and media i have been enjoying as well as some things i’m looking forward to. basically, if you love lists, you’re in for a treat.

paid subscribers will get access to all of the lists including a video about creating a digital garden and the software i’m using to create mine, recommendations of lo-fi music and soft background ambience that isn’t ai for the love of god, a surprising article on gender gaps in universities, a woman having an affair with the last thing you’d expect (or probably first thing, these are trying times), and lots and lots more. this is a seriously long set of lists. hope you all enjoy! <3

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some things i’ve been thinking about

• that the genz is lonely/sad/boring rhetoric rubs me the wrong way because it makes me feel hopeless until i remember i have never liked the things “typical 20-somethings should be doing” and i think this is just unfortunate timing for those of us who are genuinely okay right now (more on this in a podcast episode)

• how this has been probably one of the best springs we’ve had in years. i don’t think i’ve seen this many blue skies in a row at this time of year in a long time

• thinking about my relationship with writing fiction at the moment and coming to terms with the fact that it’s the fourth month of the year and i am yet to write anything

• that perhaps some dreams have to stay on the shelf for a little longer (does that mean they are less important? will expire? what is the shelf life of dreams?)

• and that the fig tree metaphor sometimes worries me because all i’m thinking about is some of the figs rotting

• trying to ignore that nagging voice at the back of my head that says people have gone through worse when it feels like we’re collectively going through the worst of times at the moment, that the people who said televisions were bad would have definitely taken it all back if they saw the state of technology today, surely

• thinking about the obvious shift between my early 20s and my late 20s and how hobbies and a softer, more gentle approach to life has completely changed me as a person

• how i want to get through the incredibly long list of books i want to read but i also want to savour each and every one of them like an orange, down to the very last drop of sweet juice

• reminding myself that i have time

• still thinking about the absolute bargain at the charity shop the other week where i got the all neapolitan novels by elena ferrante for £8!!!

• also thinking about this and shuddering

• that i love how connected to nature i am, that i feel my lungs expand a little bigger like leaves slowly unfurling to full size on trees, shedding layers of clothing to welcome the encroaching sun like a snake shedding its skin, feeling the hairs on my arms bow down to the warmth in the air like the way willow trees always look limp in a total state of relaxation

some things i’ve been reading

loved this piece by bea of the digital meadow here on substack on the death of the public intellectual. i have always felt a little off about the youtube channel jubilee and whether this is “good” content or not. as bea says, debate used to be an attempt to try and genuinely change people’s minds, and she uses fascinating examples to do so including an emotive debate between james baldwin and william f. buckley jr. today, debates are purely for entertainment and opportunities to ridicule and make fun of the opposing side. instead of public intellectuals we have “debate bros”. this was a very well written piece that will give you lots to think about.

while we’re on the topic of public intellectuals, i did recently stumble on a very engaging debate on the space between god and atheism including a favourite youtuber of mine, alex o’connor if you wanted a little bit of a upside to the above. as much as we can say certain things (e.g. the art of face-to-face conversation, real debate, community) are becoming seemingly obsolete, there will always be people and things out there to counter this, like alex’s youtube channel, unsolicited advice and this podcast episode on panpsychism.

the city and its uncertain walls by haruki murakami which i started all the way back in january but now that it is spring, i am finally in the mood to devour literature again. this won’t be one of my favourite murakamis (i have qualms about this specific translator) but i will always love murakami’s unique style of storytelling that always shines through. this book is no different, wonderfully magical and always just the right amount of magic, right on the edge of reality, where he doesn’t lose me. it would be such a joy to live in one of his worlds. ghosts, unicorns, losing your shadow, libraries, secret towns with sky high walls, sudden disappearance of love, grief—what more could you want in a book? also reading this huge hardback makes me feel like i’m literally falling into an alternate world like alice.