this is what happens when you centre your calling

what a year on substack has taught me about myself

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This week marks one year of me writing this Substack newsletter. But it also marks one year of me practising my calling for an entire year, of me showing myself that I do, in fact, have self-discipline and that I can keep promises to myself. It marks one year of loving myself, of showing myself grace at some points and tough love at others. It marks one year of commitment and self-respect.

I have been posting letters to you for 45 weeks straight, a milestone that would have simply sounded laughable a year ago. Me? Commit to something on a weekly basis for nearly a year straight? With my anxiety levels and stomach aches and depression and next to no self-discipline?

Yes. Me.

I had been looking for a platform just like Substack since I was around 16 years old, using Blogspot to write about my day and whatever I had learned in my philosophy and ethics A-Level classes. I searched every nook and cranny of the internet looking for some sort of database where all the bloggers I wanted to read were in once place and I could keep up with all of them. I loved writing, blogging, sharing stories in a unique, personable way, I still do. So when I finally realised that Substack wasn’t just a mailchimp equivalent and that it was an entire community of writers on an app and website, I jumped in with both feet and had no idea what was to come.

As well as helping me discover writers that I love, Substack showed me a lot about myself too. Keeping to a regular writing schedule has taught me the act of self-discipline and that I can rely on myself. It’s taught me that perfectionism is a waste of time and that you’re never going to love everything you produce but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything at all. It’s taught me that my writing matters and has the power to shift someone’s life in a different direction, that feelings I have don’t start and end in my body but exists in others’ too.