aesthetics are ruining our lives

stop letting other people tell you what to wear

I was scrolling through Pinterest one day and all of a sudden, I didn’t know who I was anymore.

My attention was pulled to a girl, skinny, good waist, in a cute outfit described as “earthy” and I loved it. The long skirt, the excessive jewellery, long braided hair (which I love and haven’t done in a while), that crochet long-sleeve-half-top thing, it sort of spoke to me. But then I felt sad.

All these girls look like they dance under full moons and can recite every card in the tarot deck, they look knowledgeable on plants and all things spiritual and manifestation. But I don’t know any of that. If I dressed like that, I would feel like a fraud.

But maybe this is really who I am on the inside? I did feel drawn to that look for a reason. I do like nature and filling my house with plants, I have a few crystals which I use when I (seldom) meditate. Maybe I am a spiritual girlie? I guess it’s time to buy a new wardrobe.

But I really like the dark academia aesthetic. I love books and learning and, obviously, writing. I love how 90% of my wardrobe is neutral colours and I LOVE my chunky black Mary Janes that go so well with my dogtooth mini skirt. I feel like I’d be giving up a part of my personality if I started dressing “spiritually”. And I can’t do both because that wouldn’t feel authentic.

Can we all hear how ridiculous I sound.

Imagine getting this worked up over a picture on Pinterest of a girl who most definitely edited her picture to give herself a tiny waist and who probably doesn’t even dress like that every day.

The word “aesthetic” has driven us all mad. Fashion isn’t something to play with anymore. You can’t go shopping and pick something up because it’s cute, you have to wonder if it fits with your aesthetic. 

Of course I can buy myself a long skirt and maybe sport a waist bead and the next day be a chunky trainer, big pant and small top girl. Remember those starter kits? What started off as something fun and to be laughed at suddenly became our entire lives. If I can’t see my interests and hobbies literally plastered on my skin then suddenly I don’t know who I am? I don’t have a personality? 

I think what we’re all really looking for is personal style. I used to get these two things mixed up. Personal style is finding things that feel like you, not things that feel like dark academia or cottagecore or grunge (does anyone still dress grunge?) because those things were created by other people. Other people don’t know you. They don’t know how much you love Renaissance art and action movies, or how much you love reading Spanish literature and also frequent AO3 (iykyk). So why are you letting other people tell you what to wear?

The range of things you pick up that feel like you are never going to look the same as anyone else’s, and that’s an incredible thing. The last thing we want is to all walk around looking like we belong to some kind of group, or all of us morphing into the same person. Where’s the mystery in that? 

Oh look at her, she’s wearing Doc Martins she must be confident and only listens to Arctic Monkeys. Wrong! She’s obsessed with baking, her entire bedroom is pink and she’s really shy!!

I think following an aesthetic is sort of the easy way out. It’s a shortcut to appearing like you have your life together. It’s that same feeling you get when you see joggers on the street. I think these aesthetic outfit grids are a good way to find inspiration, but I don’t think we should be trying to fit ourselves into these boxes and deny ourselves a platform shoe because balletcore says no.

Find your own bloody core. Wear a smoky eye every day. Only wear pink. Shave off your eyebrows. Buy a pair of skinny jeans. Unless you’re an adorable cat, I don’t want to see anyone trying to fit themselves in a box anymore!

might just be me but i think there’s a correlation here?

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Hello all, thank you for reading Tuesday’s essay! I hope you’re all having a good start to your week <3

I was a bit nervous to post this one in case I sounded absolutely insane so your thoughts on this are very much appreciated. I think there is an overlap between starter kits and these aesthetic outfit collages, right? I’ve been unnecessarily stressed out about trying to stick to a certain aesthetic so this essay is sort of my goodbye to that chapter of my life. I even archived my ‘fashion’ Pinterest board and started an entirely new one.

Also I feel like I’ve accidentally kept a fitness journal in these notes and dotted about my posts so if anyone was keeping track, I went for a run again on Saturday after a tough week of pmdd can I get a hallelujah.

Okay that’s all from me, I’ll see you with a journal post later on this week!

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