Awe, I love this. I adore certain aesthetics but I really just blend them all together for my own personal inspiration in style. Fashion is meant to be a way to express yourself so you should always dress how YOU want. Don't follow trends, just wear what you like!
Thank you for this read; it really was timed. I talked to a uni colleague about this because she had recently bought new Adidas shoes( I don’t know the names sorry) and I asked her why; she said because everyone had them plus they were very comfortable and I was a little bit held back; like why wouldn’t you chose your personal comfort first rather than what everyone has? And why does everyone have it; is it because their comfy or they want to show everyone else that they have it too?
Plus; 14 year old me who was desperate for fitting in should have read this; I would have done anything to be a little skinny girl with long hair. Now I don’t really care; aesthetics or not what matters is me, but many years ago it would have went differently.
thank you for this lovely comment! i'm glad you asked her why she didn't put her comfort first, i think we don't even know we're doing it sometimes and a gentle nudge for reflection like that can do wonders. i was the same at that age but i think its just part of the process but i'm glad we have both seen the light now haha
YES YES YES! Find your own bloody core!!!! Arghhh the amount of times I have tried what pinterest tells me I can look like - and failed!!! Hahahahah I love fashion. I loveee finding my own way of doing things and mixing and matching and being woo woo some days and super minimalist other days, that's just it, and your words speak to me!
hahaha i was sceptical about that line but i'm glad you liked it! yesss to all of this. everything looks good if you're comfortable imo?? also yes channelling a different vibe every day of the week hehe
You’re so right about the overlap! I think it’s just a different angle on a similar thing - starter kits: jokey, sparse, probably mocking a type of person you’re not; aesthetic collages: more serious, more detailed, instructional, made by someone who participates.
I think having a particular vibe or style you gravitate towards is fine and normal, but that shouldn’t stop people branching out and trying something new and discovering the full range of their taste. It just shouldn’t be that serious. Boxing yourself into a specific aesthetic you must rigidly adhere to could prevent you discovering the full range of yourself.
yes instructional!! like you can do this certain thing the *wrong* way. ok i'm not mad :) & exactly it definitely stops people from branching out, it's what happened to me, it's like you're denying parts of yourself, who wants that? hehe thank you & thank you for reading <3
there's a certain shoe (a gold rubber one by gardenheir) that i've noticed on everybody's instagram feet to where it's beginning to feel like a secret code... if you've got this shoe, you're in.
definitely agree w the notion that adopting aesthetic as identity is shortchanging our potential as creative individuals. 💯
so glad i havent seen that shoe and this wasn't 2 years ago otherwise i probably would have eaten that up :) i love how you put that! it definitely takes a roll on our potential! thank you sm for reading🥰
Absolutely love this reflection on aesthetics and how they can put us in a cage. There’s a piece on my page about exploring how aesthetics can be more authentic. I would love it you gave it a read 🩵
I loved this essay because i think the same. Personal style is a monologue about myself for the world, don’t make sense become a bad copy for the others ideias.
As an inspiration, is wonderful, but as a capitalism ideia is a way that we all look the same and killing our criativity and authenticity.
thank you, english is my third language and i have very difficulty expressing myself in this language. Your comment warmed my soul like a good tea in a cool day.
You put into words something I’ve been struggling with recently! The “aesthetic” Pinterest boards and such were really helpful when I was remaking my wardrobe a year or so ago, but then they became stifling. I found myself turning away from clothing, music, even books because they didn’t fit the vibe I was going for. It’s been a genuine struggle to break free from that way of thinking. I can’t imagine how something like this would have affected me if it had been more prevalent when I was a teenager.
A friend of mine who doesn't use social media at all (lucky her!) had a baby a few years ago. When asked what her nursery "theme" was, she said: "Stuff I like and stuff I have." I still think about it all the time.
I recently hit forty and realized my nieces want all my super old clothes, and love being in my home, I said, “Is it me? Am I the aesthetic?” 😂 I show them old pictures and they love that 99-2000’s aesthetic and I’m just cringing at my eyebrows lord!
I’ve literally been cooking up an article in my brain called “aesthetics will ruin your life.” Your post made me feel slightly less insane, as now I know I’m not alone in being incredibly frustrated at the proliferation of unrealistic and cookie cutter aesthetics. Thank you!
But why was my first reaction to the cover photo - I immediately need a new dark academia wardrobe - before even reading the dang article!! This piece spoke to me so deeply thank you for articulating this
the way this made me actually laugh out loud😭 but honestly i understand, these dark academia outfit collages have had me in a chokehold for yearsss. I'm glad you enjoyed reading🥰
It’s interesting how we keep creating these box’s for ourselves then get mad when we want to explore other aesthetics as if we were made to stay the same. Thanks for sharing these thoughts!
Relatable. At the risk of aging myself I think this is def a young Millennial/Gen Z thing because it is very internet based. The ability to mood board isn’t new but the niching of identities is a total byproduct of internet culture.
no definitely! i appreciate your perspective, it's nice to hear someone from the outside bc sometimes it feels like this is the entire world and it can get a bit much. thank you for reading! glad you enjoyed <3
Hi Candice I've liked reading this, it's a very interesting topic and you don't sound insane, please stop apologizing for posting what you want. It's your substack. Regarding the issue, I can't relate bc I think i'm not in the age gap when one grew up with social media & it influences your sense of style so much. Maybe I follow people whose style I adore but I know wouldn't work forme. I love black earthy girls too but I know my sensory issues wouldn't allow me to wear so much jewelry for instance. Tbh I think consumerism is the root of the issue here bc for the past years I've lived in a place where main shops and brands aren't accessible to the majority, malls are barely a thing, plus it's just too hot and humid to wear too many items of clothinh, so yes there are trends but the notion of "aesthetics" barely exists ( also maybe bc of a bigger obligation to conformity?). most people buy second hand clothes that they like or go to the market, pick a fabric and have their clothes made by tailors.So everyone has their personal style and women are hella classy. So in Europe,if one could buy, let's say a maximum 5 items of clothing a year, what would they choose ? I think that's a good question for people to start asking themselves to develop a sense of style.
ha thank you i needed to hear that, sometimes i forgot this is my substack!! consumerism is the root of a lottt of issues i hear that. & that's a really interesting idea, perhaps it would even be easier if we had less choice and less accessibility to the sheer amount of Stuff we can buy. we'd probably be a little happier for it too. i really appreciate your perspective on this thank you for sharing <3
I relate to this so much and you put it so well! It’s actually fascinating that every single person has a slightly different relationship with clothes and style, and a different relationship with gender and gender expression. I think in terms of aesthetics, queerness could also be seen as a style that can become a box when you focus too much on fitting in to it.
Awe, I love this. I adore certain aesthetics but I really just blend them all together for my own personal inspiration in style. Fashion is meant to be a way to express yourself so you should always dress how YOU want. Don't follow trends, just wear what you like!
Thank you for this read; it really was timed. I talked to a uni colleague about this because she had recently bought new Adidas shoes( I don’t know the names sorry) and I asked her why; she said because everyone had them plus they were very comfortable and I was a little bit held back; like why wouldn’t you chose your personal comfort first rather than what everyone has? And why does everyone have it; is it because their comfy or they want to show everyone else that they have it too?
Plus; 14 year old me who was desperate for fitting in should have read this; I would have done anything to be a little skinny girl with long hair. Now I don’t really care; aesthetics or not what matters is me, but many years ago it would have went differently.
And thank you again for this read!
thank you for this lovely comment! i'm glad you asked her why she didn't put her comfort first, i think we don't even know we're doing it sometimes and a gentle nudge for reflection like that can do wonders. i was the same at that age but i think its just part of the process but i'm glad we have both seen the light now haha
YES YES YES! Find your own bloody core!!!! Arghhh the amount of times I have tried what pinterest tells me I can look like - and failed!!! Hahahahah I love fashion. I loveee finding my own way of doing things and mixing and matching and being woo woo some days and super minimalist other days, that's just it, and your words speak to me!
hahaha i was sceptical about that line but i'm glad you liked it! yesss to all of this. everything looks good if you're comfortable imo?? also yes channelling a different vibe every day of the week hehe
You’re so right about the overlap! I think it’s just a different angle on a similar thing - starter kits: jokey, sparse, probably mocking a type of person you’re not; aesthetic collages: more serious, more detailed, instructional, made by someone who participates.
I think having a particular vibe or style you gravitate towards is fine and normal, but that shouldn’t stop people branching out and trying something new and discovering the full range of their taste. It just shouldn’t be that serious. Boxing yourself into a specific aesthetic you must rigidly adhere to could prevent you discovering the full range of yourself.
All this to say, I totally agree with you lol
yes instructional!! like you can do this certain thing the *wrong* way. ok i'm not mad :) & exactly it definitely stops people from branching out, it's what happened to me, it's like you're denying parts of yourself, who wants that? hehe thank you & thank you for reading <3
there's a certain shoe (a gold rubber one by gardenheir) that i've noticed on everybody's instagram feet to where it's beginning to feel like a secret code... if you've got this shoe, you're in.
definitely agree w the notion that adopting aesthetic as identity is shortchanging our potential as creative individuals. 💯
so glad i havent seen that shoe and this wasn't 2 years ago otherwise i probably would have eaten that up :) i love how you put that! it definitely takes a roll on our potential! thank you sm for reading🥰
Absolutely love this reflection on aesthetics and how they can put us in a cage. There’s a piece on my page about exploring how aesthetics can be more authentic. I would love it you gave it a read 🩵
I loved this essay because i think the same. Personal style is a monologue about myself for the world, don’t make sense become a bad copy for the others ideias.
As an inspiration, is wonderful, but as a capitalism ideia is a way that we all look the same and killing our criativity and authenticity.
thank you! i loved the way you worded that, "a monologue about myself for the world" beautiful!
thank you, english is my third language and i have very difficulty expressing myself in this language. Your comment warmed my soul like a good tea in a cool day.
You put into words something I’ve been struggling with recently! The “aesthetic” Pinterest boards and such were really helpful when I was remaking my wardrobe a year or so ago, but then they became stifling. I found myself turning away from clothing, music, even books because they didn’t fit the vibe I was going for. It’s been a genuine struggle to break free from that way of thinking. I can’t imagine how something like this would have affected me if it had been more prevalent when I was a teenager.
A friend of mine who doesn't use social media at all (lucky her!) had a baby a few years ago. When asked what her nursery "theme" was, she said: "Stuff I like and stuff I have." I still think about it all the time.
a god among us all
I recently hit forty and realized my nieces want all my super old clothes, and love being in my home, I said, “Is it me? Am I the aesthetic?” 😂 I show them old pictures and they love that 99-2000’s aesthetic and I’m just cringing at my eyebrows lord!
"am i the aesthetic?" that got me😂 hahaha im living for this perspective that must be so weird. but you've made it! you're the icon!
I love those young people so much, I’m honored that they think I’m “cool” because back then I was NOT 😂 😂
you are officially: goals
I’ve literally been cooking up an article in my brain called “aesthetics will ruin your life.” Your post made me feel slightly less insane, as now I know I’m not alone in being incredibly frustrated at the proliferation of unrealistic and cookie cutter aesthetics. Thank you!
yay we're not insane! I'm so happy, now go and write that article!!
But why was my first reaction to the cover photo - I immediately need a new dark academia wardrobe - before even reading the dang article!! This piece spoke to me so deeply thank you for articulating this
the way this made me actually laugh out loud😭 but honestly i understand, these dark academia outfit collages have had me in a chokehold for yearsss. I'm glad you enjoyed reading🥰
It’s interesting how we keep creating these box’s for ourselves then get mad when we want to explore other aesthetics as if we were made to stay the same. Thanks for sharing these thoughts!
Relatable. At the risk of aging myself I think this is def a young Millennial/Gen Z thing because it is very internet based. The ability to mood board isn’t new but the niching of identities is a total byproduct of internet culture.
Great piece. Thanks for writing.
no definitely! i appreciate your perspective, it's nice to hear someone from the outside bc sometimes it feels like this is the entire world and it can get a bit much. thank you for reading! glad you enjoyed <3
Hi Candice I've liked reading this, it's a very interesting topic and you don't sound insane, please stop apologizing for posting what you want. It's your substack. Regarding the issue, I can't relate bc I think i'm not in the age gap when one grew up with social media & it influences your sense of style so much. Maybe I follow people whose style I adore but I know wouldn't work forme. I love black earthy girls too but I know my sensory issues wouldn't allow me to wear so much jewelry for instance. Tbh I think consumerism is the root of the issue here bc for the past years I've lived in a place where main shops and brands aren't accessible to the majority, malls are barely a thing, plus it's just too hot and humid to wear too many items of clothinh, so yes there are trends but the notion of "aesthetics" barely exists ( also maybe bc of a bigger obligation to conformity?). most people buy second hand clothes that they like or go to the market, pick a fabric and have their clothes made by tailors.So everyone has their personal style and women are hella classy. So in Europe,if one could buy, let's say a maximum 5 items of clothing a year, what would they choose ? I think that's a good question for people to start asking themselves to develop a sense of style.
ha thank you i needed to hear that, sometimes i forgot this is my substack!! consumerism is the root of a lottt of issues i hear that. & that's a really interesting idea, perhaps it would even be easier if we had less choice and less accessibility to the sheer amount of Stuff we can buy. we'd probably be a little happier for it too. i really appreciate your perspective on this thank you for sharing <3
I relate to this so much and you put it so well! It’s actually fascinating that every single person has a slightly different relationship with clothes and style, and a different relationship with gender and gender expression. I think in terms of aesthetics, queerness could also be seen as a style that can become a box when you focus too much on fitting in to it.