i like working retail

i finally feel like a writer.

“would you like a bag today?” i say for probably the 16th time today. the job is repetitive in nature. i straighten out a rail of clothes, i serve two customers at the till, i return to the rail and it’s messy once more, i straighten it again. i ask people for their surname instead of calling it out when i know i'll butcher it when they come to collect an order they placed online. sometimes i have no choice but to vomit a bunch of vowels and consonants and hope someone recognises what i’m trying to say in the crowd. i speed walk in and out of the stock room so much my thighs ache a little in the morning. my trainers are starting to rip a little by my toes, i’ll need new ones soon. i come home bone tired sometimes. but i like it.

i’m learning the difference between physical tiredness and mental tiredness, and i think i’d prefer it if my body was a little worn out by the end of the day rather than feeling like someone wringed out my brain like a wet flannel. reading a book at the end of the day or playing a cosy game on my switch doesn’t sound too out of reach. i can throw myself onto the sofa giving my legs and feet a rest while running around in a cute town helping villagers return their library books in my pastel caravan (if you haven’t played cozy caravan yet, you’re missing out).

i’m not doing anything too strenuous. sometimes i may overdo it when i emerge from the stock room with all 15 packages from the 8+ people crowding around the collection point because i refuse to do this in anything more than one trip. i secretly like the stares and mild impressed facial expressions when i do so. wow, she can carry all that? and finding the energy to address the crowd, calling out surnames like i am a teacher doing the register in class, a mild form of public speaking or, to make it easier on my introverted soul, a theatre performance. smith? yes that’s for you. christmas? ooh that’s a fun one, yes that one’s for you. is that your driver’s license? oh you don’t need all that don’t worry here you go. that’s definitely yours isn’t it, go on off you go. all with a smile of course.

i may stumble straight onto the sofa the minute my shoes are off when i get home, but somewhere within me feels full, not empty like returning home from the office. my feet hurt like hell but i had genuine conversations with strangers and put smiles on their faces. yesterday, i helped a woman find a dress for her upcoming baptism. it’s a full immersion one so we laughed about definitely needing something long that hangs from the shoulders to avoid any garments floating beside her in the pool instead of firmly on her body. the excitement that radiated from her when i showed her a dress she picked up does in fact come in her favourite colour was delightful. childlike. heartwarming. yes my back hurts a little but i actually helped someone today. and i’m not a christian but i’m wishing her all the best in this new phase of her life.

coming home from the office felt exhausting for all the wrong reasons. all i did was sit in a chair and stare at a screen and for the most part, pretend to work. i begrudgingly entered prompts into chatgpt to write blog posts i couldn’t give two hoots about, knowing no one else would either, not even my own manager, and had three or four conversations a day with my colleagues that didn’t go much further than the work itself. it was only on my last day of work that i learned how much i had in common with one of them. we probably could have been good friends this whole time. whereas here, i’ve already exchanged numbers with someone. i’ve been here about the equivalent of a month, if that.

my office job wasn’t a real job, and as you can imagine, it only got worse once ai was introduced. what’s sad is that i’ve only recently realised that my job was replaced by ai long before i took the courage to hand in my notice. i was no longer someone who deserved to be there because of my degrees and experience, the best person for the job, the one who jumped seamlessly through all three stages of the interview process and got the job. you could quite literally get anyone off the street to do the job i was doing towards the end of my time there. anyone can ask chatgpt to write a piece of copy that mentions xyz and paste it into a google doc.

despite my paycheck being significantly lower, i don’t miss my office job in the slightest. i feel like i am doing something more useful by asking people if they need a bag today. it’s cute when people tell me the reason why as well. no that’s okay we’ll just put it straight in the car. yes please, oh no! i have a bag! i always forget i have a bag! it’s amazing the types of conversations you can have with people after such mundane questions over the simplicity of a transaction.

i don’t have too many friends here yet but for now, chatting with strangers while i find the right shirt for their very muscly boyfriends (she showed me a picture, she told no lies) or subtle ways to cover up insecurities for a day at the beach or cooing over how tiny these baby socks are is a great temporary way to get my social fix. and all that time on my feet has made me finally fit comfortably into a pair of jeans that used to be a little too snug. right now, i’m having a good time.

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helloo, thank you for reading this week’s post!

honestly, i’m not sure how long this feeling will last. i’ve had a couple of retail jobs in my time and never lasted too long at any of them, my contract ended just at the point where i was starting to become sick of it or i had to leave of my own accord. but this one does feel different and i hope things don’t take a drastic 180 like my previous job. i’m doing my little shifts at work and writing on my days off and that’s pretty much all i’ve ever wanted. even though my office job was 90% remote, somehow it still drained me and i wasn’t writing at all. but clocking in 10k+ steps at work for a single shift and completing short stories on the side? i’ve simply made it.

i don’t think i’m the only one experiencing this preference for customer-facing jobs over salaried office positions either. i came across this video on youtube last night and my friend has told me she’s seen a shift in people leaving office jobs for jobs in cafes and retail. something is changing, and i’m glad more people are willing to take the leap to do jobs that society deems less than in order to put their well-being and passions first. what do you think of all this?

if you want to hear more about my life as a retail girlie slash aspiring author, you can read my blog here (desktop view only), and here is my last post reflecting on the little joys and little sorrow of may.

i hope you’re having a lovely, restful sunday. i’ll see you again soon in the sun room <3