the lost art of being unavailable

we're all chronically online

unread messages stew in your phone for days, weeks, sometimes even a month or two. the judgment never dissipates. the guilt of not replying eats at you, bit by bit. although you probably sit on your phone for most of the day, those messages go ignored, become overwhelming. eventually you start thinking of all the ways you’re a bad friend, how people will eventually stop messaging you altogether, how you’ll end up with no friends at all. but for some reason, you just can’t get yourself to reply right now. and then you might forget about the message altogether and feel even worse while you type your reply weeks later.

is this the new normal of online communication?

it’s no wonder that the wellness industry is doing so well right now. we’re all perpetually exhausted and constantly looking for ways to either detox, cleanse, reset or find some semblance of quiet in our minds. wherever we look, we’re told to regulate our nervous system before doing our skincare routine, before draining our lymph nodes, before using our meditation app, before drinking our protein shakes, before using our [insert pointless wellness product here]. but has anyone ever stopped to think why? maybe it’s not just the damn phone but what it represents: being constantly available to everyone all the time.

in the same way there are only so many creams you can apply to your face before you realise your skin is bad because you’re actually severely dehydrated, there are only so many products you can use to try and mask the fact that the real problem is you are never able to switch off.